


Two Lines

by ImperiumWife



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-02
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-01-03 06:42:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 43,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1067290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperiumWife/pseuds/ImperiumWife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily was an expert at breaking up couples, but what if she never fed Ted and Robin the line that led to their breakup? An AU where Ted and Robin married, but life is not working out the way they planned. No ship is safe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Two lines. It's positive. She should be happy. She's got a great husband, a good job, and she lives in one of the greatest cities in the world. They were even talking about starting a family. But she isn't happy. How could she be happy?

Of course she knew it was going to happen. Every time she did something wrong, life somehow punished her. She can't believe that she did this. She knew exactly how her parent's marriage was ruined by cheating. Yet she, Robin Scherbatsky, had cheated on her husband. Before they were married or even together, she didn't even talk to him for a month because he almost cheated on a girlfriend with her. And yet, here she is, in the same situation. Except worse, because she actually went through with it. She cheated. And she's pregnant.

A part of her regrets marrying Ted. In a way, life is just normal with him. She could do a lot worse than Ted Mosby. It's part of the reason that she agreed to marry him in the first place. He is safe. And for the most part, she has been happy for the past three years. And she does love him, but she's not so sure she loves him in that way anymore. The spark just isn't there anymore, and as much as she doesn't want to admit it, she's not sure if it ever was.

The thing is, she was happy with Ted. Complacently happy. Life was great, because she didn't know what she was missing. Sure, it wasn't the way she thought her life would turn out, but this was the life women were supposed to want. She was supposed to want the house with the white picket fence, the 2.5 kids, the minivan. The problem was, that no matter what she did or said, she didn't want that, but it was what women were supposed to want, so she went along with it and married Ted.

It was a few months into their marriage when it started. It was innocent at first. Hanging out, playing laser tag, going to the cigar bar, talking about life. All things they had done before. Thinking about it now, she probably should have stayed away, especially considering she had been attracted to him before Ted, but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

He started taking risks. Putting his hand on her thigh as a gesture of comfort. Stroking her back in a friendly way. Nothing harmful. Even if one of the others would have seen it, they would have never called them out on it. Most of the time, she didn't even notice herself.

Slowly, over the course of months, his hand moved closer and closer to places it never should have been. She never called him out on it, though. She enjoyed it. It was exciting. Way more exciting than Ted ever was. Ted never even thought to touch her like that in the bar. So she would let him touch her and turn her on. On those nights, she and Ted would go home and have wild sex. Ted never had to know that she was fantasizing about him. No harm done. They were just playing around.

Then one day, it all changed.

Perhaps it was her fault. She had been trying to distract Ted. He had been heading up a big project for work, and hadn't so much as looked at her in two weeks. She had been beyond horny. They barely saw each other, let alone had enough time for sex. So when Friday night rolled around, she devised a plan. She put on her sexiest blouse and miniskirt, wearing nothing underneath, and headed out to meet him and the rest of the gang at the bar. She figured that when he got there, straight from work of course, she could move his hand up her short skirt and remind him what a hot piece of ass he was married too.

But, he showed up first, not Ted. He was the one to put his hand up her skirt, not Ted. And of course, since he found no resistance in the form of a thin piece of fabric as he usually did, he explored. Though, she was the one that let him. She could have hit his hand away. She could have told him to stop. But she didn't. She let it happen. She let him continue, because damn, it felt amazing. Ted never made her feel that way with just his fingers. Never. He just kept playing with her, playing inside her for an hour. She could barely keep her mind on Lily's stories about her kindergarten class or Marshall and his story about food guy's lunch today at GNB. Her mind was just thinking about how much she could just take him into the men's bathroom right now and fuck him raw against a wall. She didn't care about Ted, or the wedding vows, or anyone else around her. She needed some, she needed some right then, and she wanted it from him.

She was startled when Ted showed up right next to the table. Ted, her husband. Not the man who had three fingers in her and a thumb on her clit right now. She had been so into it that she didn't even notice him walk in. She broke away and stood as fast and she could to hug and kiss her husband, letting his wet hand hit the vinyl seat. She led Ted straight to the bathroom, while he just sat behind at the booth and smirked. The subsequent quickie was some of the best sex she ever had with Ted.

When they came back to the booth, she couldn't look any of them in the eye. It was just hand stuff, but in her mind, it was cheating. She cheated, and then she used her husband to get off on it. What kind of person was she? She made up an excuse to leave, and rushed home alone, much to Ted's dismay.

She had avoided all four of them for three days when Lily finally called her out on her absence. Since she couldn't admit what she did and why she was avoiding them, she had to show up. Ted was working late, yet again, but she knew she had to go. When she got to Lily and Marshall's, she could feel her heart beating, feeling like they would see right through her, but as soon as she saw him, all of her apprehensions were gone, and all of the lustful feelings came back. She wanted the rush of sitting beside him again. She wanted to feel his hands on her again. She wanted to fuck him.

Then Ted called to say he was working late, and as soon as he heard, he invited her to the cigar bar. They shared two cigars and a whole bottle of expensive scotch. She was too drunk to know how exactly they got there, but before she knew it, she was bent over the granite countertop in the men's bathroom at the cigar bar with her pants around her ankles while he plowed her from behind. Even in the franticness that it was, it was different for her. She had never had sex like that, and that scared her, because it wasn't a bad different. It was a good different. An amazing different. The thought scared the crap out of her. She had to get out of there, so she made an excuse to leave soon after. When she finally got home it hit her that she officially cheated. Now there was no turning back. Lily could have argued that Friday wasn't sex, but tonight's dalliance at the cigar bar was no question. That was sex. Not only had she had sex with someone who wasn't her husband, she had had sex with her husband's best friend. What kind of person does that? And worse, what kind of person has sex with their best friend's wife? She spent an hour crying her eyes out in a cold shower, before going to bed and crying herself to sleep in their empty bed while Ted worked.

It took a week for things to start to get back to normal. She could act like close friends around Barney again, and she stopped feeling so guilty in front of Ted and the others. What had happened had happened, and as long as they never told anyone, she could just pretend it never happened.

But then Ted worked late again, and they headed for the cigar bar. Only this time, their cab never made it there. They started making out as soon as they were out of sight of the bar, and they ended up back at Barney's apartment. This time, though, was less about him fucking her into oblivion with intense passion, and more about tender love making. It was another whole side of Barney that she had never seen, or never even would have believed would have existed with his history. The problem was now that she knew she was addicted. Even the slow relaxed tempo of this time was a thousand times more satisfying than even the roughest, hardest time with Ted. There was something about Barney that just made it better. Maybe it was the thrill, or maybe it was him. She didn't want to examine it. She wanted to put it in the back of her mind, but she couldn't. Even as she silently dressed as he stared into space, she couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe if she wasn't married to Ted, that there might be something here.

Over the next few weeks, their meetings became more frequent and more intense. Whenever one of them was having a bad day, they would call the other and meet up. They experimented with all of Barney's crazy toys. They tied each other up. They explored kinks. They did things together that they would never trust anyone else enough to do. Ted never noticed, because he was always at work. Robin felt bad about it at first, but her mind kept finding ways to justify it: Ted wasn't around; Barney was her friend, and she was just helping him out; she was enjoying herself and living the way she never got to because she got married so young. They were quite weak excuses, but they made her feel less guilty. Soon they were spending almost every night together, experimenting, making sure that she got home before Ted got home from work.

But then, the project was over. Things had slowed down for Ted, and he was home more. They had to get more creative. They started meeting at her office or at his office during the day. Sometimes she would make the excuse that she had to work late. She almost couldn't go more than a day without being with Barney. Ted had no such effect on her, and he never had. In fact, she almost couldn't go through with sex with Ted. Even when she initiated it, she still wasn't as into it as she was with Barney.

It was wrong on so many levels. Ted seemed like he was trying to make up for lost time. She kept having sex with Barney, and Ted wanted to keep having sex with her. There were days where she had sex in the morning with Ted, then at lunch with Barney, then again in the bathroom at the bar with Barney, and then again at home with Ted. Somehow she kept up with them. She pushed the guilt out of her mind, because stopping sex with Ted would raise questions, and there was no way she was going to end things with Barney.

But what scared her more was not the sex, or not even Ted finding out. It was Barney. She enjoyed spending time with him. She enjoyed goofing off with him. She could tell him anything. The fact that she could tell him anything freaked her out the most. Barney knew things that Ted didn't: like how she was raised as a boy, how she hated her father, how she would do anything for his approval, how she didn't really want kids, but how someday she would do it for Ted, how shooting was her way to blow off steam. Worse off, she knew things about Barney that she was sure none of the others knew about. She knew about how he really felt about Shannon, about how he considered having a family someday, how his father made him feel abandoned, how he really didn't enjoy the meaningless hookups anymore, how he hadn't been with anyone but her since before that night at the cigar bar. She felt a connection. Yes, Ted had told her a bunch of stuff, but it wasn't the same. Ted would have told the things he told her to any girl. But Barney, Barney would have kept things a secret. It meant something that he told her.

So now, three sets of two lines, three smiley faces, three plus marks and three pregnant readings later, all she is feeling is screwed and confused. She can't be pregnant. She just can't. Sure, Ted would be happy about it, but there is a fifty-fifty chance it's not actually his baby. Frankly, it's more likely to be Barney's because that is just how life works for her. Part of her just wants to run away and never come back. What she should do is tell Ted, bask in the glow of being pregnant, let him spoil her, and pretend like nothing ever happened between her and Barney. It's what any sane person would do. But she can't do that. She can't do that to Ted, she can't do that to Barney, she can't do that to her child, and she certainly can't do that to herself. She has to tell Barney first. He needs to know before Ted. He's the only one that can help her figure this out.


	2. Chapter 1- Letters

Robin spends the entire thirty minute cab ride down to his office trying to figure out what she is going to say. She is going to go in, tell him she is pregnant, and ask what she should do about it. It is a simple as can be. When she finally gets there and sees him, that all goes out the window.

"Robin! You're here!" Barney said excitedly. He hadn't been expecting to see her.

"Yeah," she says distractedly, "hi. I ummmm…. we ummmm….. we need to talk," she stutters.

"I actually have something I wanted to talk to you about too," he says seriously.

"You know what? You go first," she says, trying to avoid the inevitable. She can keep it to herself for a few more minutes.

"Ok," he pauses as if he is trying to build the courage to say what he is going to say. "Robin, I know you are with Ted and you love him, but I just can't hold it in anymore." He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. "There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you, and a day that I don't get to talk to you, well that day is just no good. I can't live without you Robin. I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I love you."

She stands at the door to his office, stunned. She can't think. He loves her? Barney Stinson is in love with her? With his best friend's wife? He can't possibly... she can't do this. She going to say it and run. She wants him to know, but she has to get as far away from here as possible. This can't be her life. It can't.

"I'm pregnant."

He stands equally as stunned. When his mind finally clears from the shock, she's gone.

* * *

Ted is exhausted when he opens the door to their apartment that night. He misses living right above the bar and he misses living in Manhattan, but coming home every night to Robin makes it worth it. She seemed distant last night, and they were planning on having a nice quiet night in. He shouts for her a few times around the apartment when he doesn't see her. It's strange to him that she isn't there. He wanders into the kitchen, and that's when he sees the plain folded piece of paper with his name on it, sitting plainly in front of the toaster.

* * *

_Ted,_

_I'm so sorry. I don't quite know how to say what I need to. I love you. I'm just not in love with you anymore. I don't know if I ever was, at least not the way I should have been to marry you. I need to get away for a while. I need some time to sort out some things in my mind._

_I feel like I gave up a whole lot to be with you. I knew when we first met that I wasn't interested in a marriage, but I married you anyway, because I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. But if I keep letting things go on the way they have been, I will regret it. You have been nothing but the perfect husband, and you deserve better. You deserve someone who wants to be your wife, who is excited about having your babies, and as much as it hurts me to say, I'm not her, at least right now, and I am not sure if I will ever be._

_I'm not quite sure where I am going to go, but I don't want you to try and find me. Rushing me through this will just make it worse. I want to go live the life I always dreamed of. I want to travel while I still can. I want to get away._

_If you find someone else while I'm gone, I want you to go for it, because I think we both know that we aren't the ones for each other. If we were, it wouldn't be so hard to make our marriage work. It would be easy. I would feel like I couldn't go a day without seeing you, but that's not true of the two of us. Yes, we were great together, but not as great as we could be, and it's wrong for either of us to settle._

_I'll write you soon, and I promise that I won't be away forever, but I need time. Please._

_I love you._

_Robin_

* * *

"Lily?" Ted asks mournfully.

"What's up Ted?" she asks. Something doesn't quite seem right with his voice, but she can't place it.

"Can you come over?" he sobs.

"Yeah, what's wrong?" she asks, now alarmed.

"It's...it's Robin," he sobs again. "She's gone."

"What do you mean she's gone?" she questions.

"I… I don't know. There was a note and-" he sobs, unable to finish his sentence.

"I'll be right over," she says with urgency, while running out the door.

* * *

To say that it had been a bad day for Barney would be an understatement. Not only did Robin run out the door after he told her that he loved her, but she dropped those two little words he hoped he'd never hear from a woman before she left. She's pregnant. It could be his baby. It could be Ted's baby. There was no way of knowing. He just had to go scare her off. She didn't need that right now, but how was he supposed to know that that is what she wanted to say. He doesn't know what to do. He probably should have chased after her this afternoon, but he knows her well enough to know that she needed space. Maybe he will try to find her tomorrow. He figures the best way to start is to go home and try to get some sleep.

When he gets home, he pours himself a scotch, and that's when he notices it. The plain white piece of paper with his name on it, sitting stark against the dark coffee table.

* * *

_Barney,_

_I'm sorry I left you in your office like that. It was completely insensitive of me, especially knowing how much it hurts for you to share your feelings, but I just couldn't stand there._

_I love you. I do. Maybe in another life we could be the married couple. I don't know. But I do know that I can't be here in New York while I'm married to Ted, and be in love with you. I need some time to think about this all, to sort it all out, to examine my feelings and figure out where I want to go next._

_If there is one thing you can do for me, it's this: please don't tell anyone about the baby, not even Ted. I didn't tell him. I couldn't. He would have been so happy. How can I tell him that he is going to be a father when he might not be? He might hold it against me forever if I don't tell him and the baby is his, but it's better than the alternative of finding out halfway through that the baby isn't his. So he can't know Barney. Not even Marshall and Lily can find out. I just can't tell anyone until I know which one of you is the father, and I know I couldn't stay here and pretend it's Ted's, because I just have this feeling it's yours._

_Please, please don't freak out about this. I want you be involved whether you are uncle Barney or Dad to this baby. I want to be with you someday, but I think it will take Ted a long time to accept us. And don't worry, I'm not planning on getting rid of the baby. When I come back, he or she will still be a part of my life._

_And please don't try to find me. I know you are going to want to use all your resources to find me, but I don't want to be found. If you try to find me, I promise you that things won't turn out well. I need this time to examine my life, to travel while I still can. I need to figure out where I want to go with my life. I need to figure out where I want to go with you and Ted. Even if you track me down, I will just leave again. So please, just wait for me. I will be back. I promise._

_I love you._

_Robin_

* * *

He texts Lily more than a dozen times, each time getting more and more frustrated by the lack of response. He tries calling her even more, but it goes to voicemail every time. He needs to tell someone what he's done. There are just some things he can't hold in any longer. He picks up his crystal scotch glass and hurls it at the fridge, because he is so angry at himself for pushing her away like this. It shatters into a million pieces and dents the fridge in the process, but he doesn't care. The woman that he loves is gone.

* * *

When Marshall gets home that night, he doesn't bother looking for Lily. He knows she is dealing with some sort of crisis at the Mosby-Scherbatsky place. Lily didn't go into details, but he is sure it's nothing serious. It is probably just the normal advice they always need, so he goes about business as usual, grabbing leftovers from the fridge, heating them up, and taking them to the table to eat.

The night switches quickly from business as usual to full-on crisis when he sees the piece of paper lying on the table.

* * *

_Lily and Marshall,_

_I am sorry I left the two of you without saying goodbye, but I had to go. I just couldn't stay here anymore. I love you both, and I want to thank you for being such great friends over the years. Please don't be upset with me for leaving and leaving you behind with Ted. I don't want to hurt him, but this was the best thing I could do for him and for all of us. I know it may not seem like it now, but someday, I hope you can look back and know I did the right thing. I just haven't been happy, and it's not fair to him to stay when I'm not. Just take care of him for me. Help him move on. Help him find the real girl of his dreams, because as much as I want to be, I'm not it._

_Take care of yourselves, and Barney too. I promise I will be back soon, and I want to be able to see you again and call you my friends._

_Love,_

_Robin_

* * *

"Oh shit."


	3. Chapter 2- The Aftermath

"How could she just leave like that Lily?" Ted yells at Lily after she finishes reading the letter. "I thought she loved me!" He shouts while pacing around the living room of his and Robin's apartment in an angry furor.

"She does love you Ted. I just don't think that the two of you are meant to be," Lily tries to explain calmly, as she pulls him down to sit next to her on the couch. "She told you she didn't want to get married before you ever started dating."

"But I don't want to start over Lily!" Ted whines.

"Ted, it's going to be ok. I know you're upset and it seems like the end of the world-"

"It is the end of the world!" Ted cuts her off with a sob.

"No, it's not Ted. I think she is right. I don't think you are the one for her and she isn't the one for you. I love you both and I wanted you two to be happy, but I don't think you two had any business getting married in the first place," Lily says, starting to get frustrated with Ted, and with Robin too. Robin had no business just leaving her behind to clean up the mess.

"Then why did you let us get married?" Ted asks, stunned at Lily's revelation.

"Think about it Ted. Why would I have tried to stop you? I had no real reason at the time, other than a gut feeling, and I certainly wasn't going to purposely ruin your wedding on a gut feeling. You would have never forgiven me. I would have, though, if I would have known it was going to end this way."

"I just don't know how I am going to live without her," Ted mumbles into his hands.

"You will Ted, if it is meant to be, you will," she says as she pulls him into a comforting embrace.

At that moment, Marshall comes running in the door of the apartment.

"Ted! You okay Ted?" he shouts.

"What do you think Marshall?" he snarks. "Of course I'm not okay."

"It's going to be okay buddy," Marshall says as he sits down next to him and puts an arm around his shoulder, allowing for Lily to get up and start pacing the room. "We'll get you through it, just like you got me through Lily leaving." Lily uses the reprieve to go in the kitchen to check her phone.

"Marshall?" Lily whispers to get his attention. He leaves Ted on the couch to join Lily in the kitchen. "I think I need to go. Look." She shows him the phone with all of Barney's missed calls and text messages.

"It's ok. Go. I can handle Ted." She nods at Marshall's response. She isn't thrilled about leaving Ted in this state, but whatever is going on with Barney must be serious in order for him to have left 12 voicemails and 83 text messages.

"Ted, I have to go. But you and Marshall can stay here and have a boy's trash talking session. Call her a Grinch."

"Thanks Lil." She is happy that Ted at least smiled at her response, while Marshall waves her out the door.

* * *

"What's the big emergency, Barney?" Lily asks while running in the door to Barney's apartment.

"I screwed up Lily," Barney responds dejectedly. She finds him perched on the couch, legs pulled up to his chest, head in his hands.

"What do you mean you screwed up?" Lily questions carefully. She is starting to think that this isn't as big of a deal as what Ted is going through.

"She's gone Lily," Barney whines. Lily rolls her eyes. "That's what I screwed up."

"I'm not following," she says, using her best kindergarten teacher voice. "Did you have another bimbo steal from you again?" she asks soothingly.

"No," he sighs, running his hands agitatedly through his hair. "Robin. Robin's gone. I told her something." The sadness starts to build in his voice. "And now she's gone."

"Wait. How do you know she's gone?" Lily questions. It doesn't make sense. Why would Robin tell Barney she was leaving? She didn't tell her and Marshall.

"She wrote me a letter," he groans as he stands, starting to pace around the room.

"She wrote you a letter?" she ponders. It doesn't make sense. "I am starting to feel a little left out here. Why would she write you a letter and not me?" she responds without knowledge of the letter that Marshall had read earlier.

"It's not about that Lily!" Barney shouts in outburst.

"Can I read it?" she asks. Maybe it will give her a clue as to why Robin left.

"Uh... no. And you won't find it either. I burned it," he taunts. In reality it was still in his bedroom, but he couldn't let her find it. She couldn't find out about their affair and the baby. They would disown him, and without Robin, he would have nothing to live for. He couldn't do that. He had to hide it at all costs. He had to do it for her. He had to do it for the baby.

"Fine." Lily rolls her eyes again. She wishes he wasn't so childish so that she could help him with this. "Then tell me what you did."

"I told her something I shouldn't have," he reveals.

"And that is..." She doesn't get it. Frankly, she is really annoyed with this whole thing. Barney is all up in his head about this. There is nothing he could have said that would have scared Robin away.

"That…. that I love her," Barney mumbles.

"WHAT!?" Lily exclaims. Did she hear him right? Did he say that he loves her?

"I told her... that I love her," Barney says more clearly this time.

"But Barney!? How could you? Why? She's married to your  _best friend_ ," she castigates. He knew that he was going to be getting a signature Lily lecture, but he didn't think that it was going to be quite this bad. At least he feels better that it is out in the open.

"Don't you think I know that Lily?" he shouts back. "Don't you think I hate every day that I see them together? I never thought that I would feel this way about someone after Shannon, but I do, Lily! I would do anything for her, including not chasing after her, cause that is apparently what she wants!"

"Barney-" she tries to interrupt. Seeing Barney like this is new for her. She didn't know that he could feel this passionately about someone. The problem is, that someone just happens to be his best friend's wife.

"No Lily! You don't get it!" he continues to rant. "I wish I didn't love her. It would be so much easier for everyone, but I couldn't pretend anymore. I couldn't pretend to just be her friend anymore. She wasn't happy with Ted, I could see it. Hell, she even told me. I just couldn't let her go on when she wasn't happy, when she could be happy."

"You mean happy with you?" she scolds.

"Yes," he sighs.

"How long?" The look on Barney's face is one of sheer confusion. He was expecting more of her continued life lecture. "How long have you been in love with her?"

He is still caught off guard. He has no idea how to answer her question. He realized that he was in love with her after the first night she spent at his apartment. He hated seeing her walk out the door after that time, because he knew that she would never be his. He knew at that moment that he would always do anything for her. He knew that things would never be the same.

The thing was, he thought he knew what sex was. He should. He's been with plenty of women. But Robin. Robin was different. He had never had sex like that. The first time at the cigar bar, he thought it might have been the thrill of it, but after that second night, he knew everything had changed. He knew sex would never be just sex again.

But to answer the question honestly, he is not sure when he fell in love with her. From the first time he challenged her to say inappropriate things on the news, he knew that she could be one of his best friends. He knew there was a connection between them that he didn't have with the rest of the gang. He felt something then too, but he never wanted to be in love again, so he ignored it, burying it as deep inside himself as he could. He takes a deep breath before answering.

"Since I met her. It just took me a long time to realize it," he admits.

"Wow," she mutters, stunned by his revelation. "Ummm. I don't... I don't know what to say." She pauses and blurts out the first thing that comes to mind. "You shouldn't have told her that."

"I know. I just couldn't-" he defends.

"I know. I know how hard it is to see someone you love unhappy, but you've made your best bro unhappy now too."

"I know," he responds somberly, "it's just... they aren't right together."

"I know they aren't," she replies. He is shocked to hear her say that. She doesn't think that they are good together either? "But you are getting in the middle of a marriage here. They made a commitment to each other to be together forever, and even if they don't love each other, they still made a promise. You can't just jump in and tell her you love her and expect her to love you back, let alone leave Ted. She's not yours to have," she says, trying to comfort him.

"But what if she loves me too and she's just too scared to leave Ted? To hurt Ted?" he questions pleadingly, hoping for her to understand where he is coming from.

"Barney, you don't know how she feels. I just don't see her leaving Ted for you. I'm sorry."

He plops on the couch while letting out a huge breath he didn't know he was holding.

"I'm sorry she's gone," he admits, on the verge of tears.

"It's not your fault. Remember that."

"Can you please go?" he manages to choke out. "I think I need to be alone now."

"Sure Barney," she says with the calmest voice she can imagine, even though she is screaming inside. "Just don't do anything stupid."

"I think I am all out of stupid for today."

* * *

Lily spends the night crying herself to sleep in Marshall's arms. She is going to miss Robin, but there is something else unsettling about the whole situation. Maybe because she is the one left behind comforting the man this time instead of being the one to chase her dream. Lily understands why Robin is gone, but it doesn't make it any more fun to deal with.

Lily can't believe that she didn't see that Robin was unhappy with Ted. It should have been obvious. All of this should have been obvious. And Robin confided in Barney of all people about this. It makes sense that Robin's reaction to what Barney must have said was to run, especially if she really was that unhappy with Ted. She understands Ted's reaction to Robin leaving and Marshall's reaction too, but Barney's? Barney's reaction she can't understand in the least. There is something she is missing. She is missing a piece to this puzzle. She just has no idea what it is.

* * *

Maybe she made a mistake. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to run away from the only people that she has considered to be her family for the past five years. Maybe she should have come clean to Ted. But then she remembers. This is for her. This is about her following her dreams before she has to give her life over to someone else. This is about her figuring out where she wants to go with her life. This is about her figuring out how she feels about Barney.

"This is your Captain speaking. I want to welcome you aboard Flight 83 bound for Buenos Aires."

If nothing else, she just needs to sit back and enjoy the ride.


	4. Chapter 3- One Month

It's been a month since Robin left. A whole 30 days without her. Ted feels nothing but depression and loneliness. In a way, he is stuck in a hellish purgatory, where Robin isn't with him, but he can't move on, because he has no idea if she is coming back. The anger, the tears, the pain, it is all still there. He has spent most of the nights since she left getting drunk on scotch in the apartment they used to share.

To his friends, the beard he's grown is one of the least worrisome changes. He's stopped caring about work. He's stopped waxing poetic about buildings. He's stopped reading poetry. He gets so wasted most days that he almost gets fired. He's stopped caring about life.

His friends think he needs to get out of the house. Lily and Marshall try to have him over for dinner. Barney tries to get him to play laser tag and pick up chicks, but Ted wants none of it. He wants Robin back. He wants to hold his wife in his arms again and tell her that he loves her. He wants to share the future with her. She is everything in his life.

* * *

Frankly, Barney feels as if he is handling life well. Every day he gets up and he becomes the person that everyone expects him to be. He puts on the mask and pretends he doesn't miss Robin.

For months now, he has been picking up girls and dumping them sometime later outside the bar. Even in the month that Robin has been gone, he kept up the charade. At some point he turned over a new leaf. He doesn't know what it is about her, but he's had no desire to sleep with anyone else. He doesn't know if it was because the sex was so spectacular or that he loves her, but he has become, in all essence, a one woman man. Although, it is not like he would expect anyone to understand.

He hasn't talked to Lily about anything since Robin left. He pretends to forget that one night of weakness where he spilled his heart out to Lily. He is not sure the real reason as to why he has closed back up. Honestly, he knows that's not true. He doesn't want Lily to figure out about the affair, and frankly he is scared about his feelings, so it is best if he acts like nothing is going on. Still, not talking about it makes him feel a bit better about the whole thing. If he can keep it to himself, he can almost pretend that nothing happened.

The problem is he can't pretend. She is gone AND pregnant. It is all he can think about. He loves her and he scared her away by telling her about it. He is worried is for her and the baby. God only know where she is and if she is even going to the doctor.

He can't help but wonder if the baby is his, and then the thought occurs to him that maybe she didn't leave because of him at all. Maybe she couldn't face Ted. Maybe she ran because if she told Ted, she would also have to tell him that it might not be his baby. Maybe he didn't truly scare her away. He is just confused, because it seemed like she was in love with him too. But she is gone, so it is probably best for him not to get his hopes up, and he should expect her to never return his feelings, because after all, she did want Ted to move on. Maybe he should do the same, because he has had enough. Enough of sitting and waiting for her to come back.

Lately, he just wants to tell Ted to shut the fuck up. His incessant whining is getting him nowhere. Maybe Barney is just angry because he can't show the feelings of hurt that Robin ripped away when she left. She hurt him just as much as she hurt Ted, if not more, but there is no way he can admit that to anyone, including himself, so he has to bury his feelings deep down, so that he doesn't ruin the group. What he needs most is just to get his mind of off things. Maybe a night of strange is just what he needs. It's not like they were ever exclusive. It was his choice not to sleep with other girls. She sure as hell wasn't exclusive, so why would he have to be now?

Barney heads over to Ted's in an effort to make it up to him, and tries to get him off the couch to join him at the bar.

"Ted! Suit up!" Barney barges in the apartment with his normal spunk.

"No Barney. I'm not going out with you," Ted mumbles morosely, a bottle of cheap scotch in his hand.

"Why not?" Barney whines.

"Because I'm married, Barney."

"We are just going to the bar," he snarks. "And besides, she's gone. You've got to let her go. She wants you to move on."

"No Barney."

"Come on Ted," he whines again.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?!"

"No."

"Ted. Let's go."

"No"

"Ted. You have to get out of this apartment."

"If I go will you shut up?" Ted asks grumpily.

"Yes."

"Fine. I'll go. But I'm not doing anything other than sitting there. No girls. No strippers. No have you met Ted. Got it?"

"Finally! Ted, now go suit up."

* * *

"Look at this! My boy is making his way back into the world of the ladies!" Barney exclaims as they enter the bar.

"No I'm not," Ted mumbles.

"Now, he didn't suit up like I asked, but at least he is here!"

Ted rolls his eyes, and makes a beeline to the booth, where he sits down and orders a double scotch from Wendy.

"Ted! You're here!" Lily says excitedly.

"Just trying to get Barney to shut up."

"Still, we're glad you're here buddy," Marshall says.

"Yeah. I just want to get drunk as soon as possible," Ted murmurs.

"Look at the talent in here tonight!" Barney announces, finally walking over to the booth. "How about that teary-eyed blonde by the bar. She would be perfect for you Ted. Just think of the dirty and depraved things she would do for you tonight. Plus her friend is like an 11."

"Barney. That is the last thing Ted needs right now. Ted needs some time to move on," Lily tells him forcefully.

"Ted doesn't need to move on. He needs some hot chick draped across him," Barney argues.

"No. I'm not going over there Barney."

"Fine. Both of them for me then!" he says, exiting the booth, and heading to the girls at the bar.

The gang is surprised at the speed at which Barney makes his move. Even Barney himself is surprised. Fortunately for Barney, no one notices how much that eleven at the bar looks like Robin, but he notices. It's why she was his first target in over seven months.

When he rolls off of the brunette 2 hours later, all he feels is emptiness inside. The sex should have been spectacular, just on the fact that it has been a month. But it was far from spectacular. It was horrible. He couldn't even have sex without Robin anymore. He kicks the girl out, and spends the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, wondering how it all went wrong.

* * *

It still feels weird to Lily to be the only girl in the group again. She really had grown accustomed to having Robin around. Yes, she had been the only one before, but this time was different. This time she knows what it was like to have another estrogen life based form around. And damn it if she doesn't miss it like crazy. Not to mention, she wishes that Robin could have stayed around for Ted's sake. That man is going to ruin his life because of all this.

Even worse, not only is Ted shying away but so is Barney. She hasn't seen Barney in a few days, and if Marshall didn't work with him and hadn't seen him at work, she would be even more concerned. Yes, they are all taking this hard, but it seems as though he is taking it harder than he should have. Maybe it stems from his fears of abandonment, since his father wasn't around for his childhood. Then he had to deal with the whole Shannon thing. He let himself become close to Robin, even in just a puppy love and friendship kind of way, and now she abandoned him too. She wishes that she could do something to help him, because it hurts her to see him this way.

* * *

Things are even more awkward for Marshall. He was never that close to Robin, so he doesn't miss her that much, but he feels the reverberations of her disappearance through the group. He feels awful for Ted, but he can't blame him. He was the same way when Lily left. He owes it to his best bro to be there for him. He doesn't even mind Lily being upset, but Barney seems to be acting strange. It's like Barney has retreated farther into his shell. And it's not like that would bother him either, but it is the degree to which Barney has retreated that makes it seem more extreme.

Barney picks up a girl every night now. His jokes and stories have become even more extreme than usual, usually crossing into the category of dangerous. The thought of it worries Marshall to no end.

"Lily?" Marshall asks one night as he and Lily settle into bed for the night. "Do you feel like something is off with Barney?"

Oh God, Lily thinks. Marshall sees it too, but she knows she can't share what Barney told her. Marshall will tell Ted, which will just result in a fight between Ted and Barney. That is the last thing that either of them need right now. They both need some time to heal. She just has to wait for Barney's childlike feelings to blow over.

"Nope," she quickly brushes off. "I haven't noticed anything lately. He seems just fine."

"Really? You haven't seen the number of girls he's been picking up lately?"

"No. Seems pretty normal to me."

"Even his stories are more extreme. I am really worried about him."

"He is Barney. He is just fine. Trust me."

"Ok." He drops it, because if Lily doesn't see it, he must just be imagining things.

* * *

It's been a month since she left New York. Nine weeks into her pregnancy, and she isn't feeling that different. It is more of an adjustment to be away from New York, Ted, and Barney.

She's met some wonderful people in Argentina. She spent her days on the beach and her nights in the drum circles, while still managing to stay away from anything harmful to the baby. Even though being pregnant right now wasn't on the top of her list of things to do, she would never do something so stupid as to harm it on purpose. If anything, these last few weeks have helped her peacefully accept this new, tiny person into her life, regardless of who helped her make it.

The thing is, as great as Argentina was, she still has a great deal of places she wants to see before she has to go home. Yes, she could have the baby in a foreign country and take it with her while she travels, but the smart international traveler in her knows that it would be dangerous for her and the baby to be alone. There are still places in the world that think that a woman should be at home with her husband. Plus, she is going to need all of the help that he can get with the baby, and for that, she is going to need her friends in New York, if they are still her friends, that is. Not to mention the fact that the doctor she saw in Argentina told her that she couldn't fly after 7 months. So it's before seven months or after it is born.

She makes her list of all the places she's always wanted to travel, and with the most forethought that she has had in the past few months, she plans out the next six months of her life.


	5. Chapter 4- Life Moves On

Ted has made some changes in the past month. After the gang's most serious intervention so far, he realized that all he was doing was screwing up his life. He stopped drinking himself into oblivion. He moved in with Marshall and Lily again, just until he could be on his own again or as he thought, until Robin comes back.

He has resigned himself to the idea that Robin needs time. He has faith that she will come back and still be in love with him, just like Lily came back to Marshall. She loves him. Yes, she wrote in the letter that she wasn't sure she loved him that way, but he knows that she does. He knows deep down that their love for each other is unlike anything. All he needs to do is be patient, and she will be back. He is still a man with hope. That is, until a day at the bar, two months from when she walked out of his life. The day that would become the worst day of his life.

"I'm looking for Ted Mosby?" A man at the bar says to Carl. Ted overhears him.

"That's me, buddy. What can I do for you?"

"You're being served."

The other three look at him with questioning eyes.

"What is it?" Lily asks, as he sinks in the booth next to Marshall.

"I don't know," Ted responds.

"Maybe as your lawyer, I should open it for you." Marshall takes the envelope from him and rips it open. His eyes widen before he closes his eyes and sighs.

"What is it man?" Ted questions.

"I'm so sorry buddy," Marshall consoles.

"What is it Marshall?" Ted asks again, unsure.

"It's divorce papers."

He freezes as all the color drains out of his face. Divorce papers? He knew that she was unhappy, but a divorce? He thought he just had to wait for her to work out whatever sort of crisis she was having, and that she would be back. He never thought that she would NEVER be coming back.

The rest of them are shocked too, although not entirely surprised. Barney definitely saw it coming, but is still shocked. Lily knew they weren't meant to be together. However, neither of them expected her to be so cold about it.

"Ted?" Lily tries to break him out of his stupor.

"Uhhh…"

"What are you going to do?" Barney asks cautiously. They all wait for the question to sink into Ted. Suddenly, a smirk breaks across Ted's face for the first time since Robin left.

"I'm going to get drunk and pick up a chick!"

"Yes!" Barney screams, attracting the attention of the entire bar.

"No, Ted. This is not a good idea!" Marshall shouts, trying to bring Ted back from the dark side that is Barney's fun house of mirrors and flawed logic.

"Why Marshall?" Ted squawks. "She obviously has no intention of ever coming back, so why should I sit here and feel so damn lonely? Carl? Five shots please."

"Finally, Ted!" Barney exclaims.

"No, Barney. This isn't what he needs right now. He doesn't need to go out and be you tonight," Marshall tries to argue.

"This is what I need and I am doing it," Ted asserts. Carl sets the shots on the table, and he swallows all five in quick succession.

"Do you remember the last time you drank five shots Ted? You ended up with a random girl and a pineapple in your bed," Marshall reminds him.

"And the pineapple was delicious. Come on Barney! Let's go get some tens and bang them!" Ted screams, stumbling out of the booth and towards the door.

"I have nothing left to teach you!" Barney cries, finally proud of Ted. But he is more excited about something else. If Ted's single, so is Robin, and he has more hope than he's had in the two months she's been gone.

* * *

He struck out yet again. He isn't mad that Ted was going to score with the tattooed chick, whatever her name was, or that he didn't find her for him. He's mad because he knew that he wasn't going to be able to seal the deal with her super-hot friend who had been all over him the whole night. Here Ted is, cheating on his wife, well, almost ex-wife, and Barney can't bring himself to cheat on a girl he had a fling with. He doesn't know when he caught these horrible feelings, but he just wants them to go away. He wants to go back to his life before Robin. Before he fell in love with the most amazing woman in the world. Before he learned he could possibly be a dad. No matter what he tried, he couldn't keep his head in the game. All he could think was that he was lucky. He was lucky that everyone was so worried about Ted to notice that the great Barney Stinson had caught feelings. Caught feelings bad.

* * *

"Morning Ted." Marshall murmurs from his seat on the couch where he is reading the morning paper.

"Hey." Ted moans, while walking to the kitchen to get some aspirin and water to at least tame his horrible hangover.

"How drunk did you get last night?"

"I don't know."

"How much do you remember?"

"Enough to know that I almost got a tattoo. But I didn't. I checked."

"Did you sleep with someone?"

"Maybe. I don't know," Ted shrugs

"What do you mean you don't know? You don't know if you cheated on your wife last night? What the hell are you thinking Ted! We don't need another Barney. We don't need another person with no morals in this group. I know that getting those divorce papers was hard, but you shouldn't go sleep with the first girl you meet. You're still married."

"I just needed to forget for a night."

"You can't just forget for a night. You're married. You have to deal with it another way."

"I don't know how to. Do you remember how you were when Lily left?"

"Yes, but I didn't pull a Barney a sleep with the first thing that moved," Marshall shouts, before realizing that shouting is going to get him nowhere right now. "Listen, I know you are upset, but it will get better. It got better for me. You have to decide what you are going to do, and move on." he says, giving him a friendly pat on the back.

"Why did that hurt?" Ted wonders aloud before his eyes grow wide with the realization. "OH MY GOD! I got a tattoo. I got a tattoo. Why did I get a tattoo?"

"That's not a tattoo Ted. That's a tramp stamp! A butterfly tramp stamp!" Marshall tries to say while laughing hysterically. "I'm calling Barney!"

"Please don't," Ted pleads somberly, instantly cutting off Marshall's laughter, and completely changing the tone in the room.

"Why?"

"Cause he told me not to get it," Ted admits. He kinda ditched me last night because I picked up the girl without him."

Ted wanders around the apartment, and ends up look on the desk behind the couch. He glances down and notices the divorce papers.

"I need to sign them, don't I?" he asks, half rhetorically.

"I don't know Ted. What do you want to do?"

"What do I want to do?" Ted repeats in an agitated tone. "I want to find her, tell her how much I love her, and talk her out of this, but somehow, I don't think that's the right thing to do. I think that no matter what I do, I'm never going to change her mind." He pauses, and starts to sniffle. "I never thought it was this bad, but whatever is in her mind, I don't think I am going to change it."

"I'm sorry, Ted."

"Maybe it's time to move on. Maybe this is a sign. Maybe I've been a caterpillar the whole time and now, I've become a butterfly. I've grown up. I've evolved." He sighs. "Robin just evolved without me. I'm going to sign them."

* * *

_-Ted meet us at the apartment in half an hour. We have some news.-_

He doesn't know whether or not to be scared about Marshall and Lily's news. It does seem urgent, and he doesn't know what could be so urgent. He hopes that Lily isn't pregnant, because he isn't ready for that. He thought that he and Marshall would be going through that together, becoming fathers together. Maybe it's selfish of him not to be happy for his friends, but he knows he still isn't over Robin. He needs time still.

He can't help but hope that whenever he makes it to the apartment, that Lily and Marshall don't throw his life into more of a downward spiral.

* * *

"Alright, what's the big announcement that I had to run all the way over for?" Ted asks while walking in the door.

"Why don't you sit down Ted?" Marshall offers.

"Wait? Where's Barney?"

"My guess is off banging some chick." Lily jokes. "What else would Barney be doing?"

"Shouldn't he be here for the big news?" Ted questions.

"Not really," Marshall says with a shrug of his shoulders. "We wanted to tell you first."

"Why?" Ted is incredibly confused by this point.

"Because it affects you a whole lot more than him," Lily announces.

"Ok..."

"We want to give you the apartment."

"What?" Ted stands there stunned. That makes no sense.

"I know you need to move out of your place because Robin asked you to in the divorce," Marshall says sadly. "So, Lily and I started talking about it the other day, and we decided it's time that we buy a place instead of rent. We found a place yesterday, and we're gonna buy it, so that means this place is free."

"You guys," Ted responds, trying not to tear up. "That means the world to me."

"We figured that since you've been crashing here anyway, it made sense," Lily adds.

"We just thought that we'd make it official so you can start your new life."

"Thanks guys. You really have no idea what this means to me."

"We love you Ted." Lily says while pulling them into a group hug. "We just want you to be happy."

* * *

"Something amazing happened today," Ted announces in a sing-songy voice, while walking into the bar.

"What's that Ted? You look happy," Lily points out.

"I am happy," Ted declares. "I had consultation to get the tattoo removed."

"Oh, that's great!" Marshall exclaims.

"That's not the best part!" Ted exclaims. "I met someone." Barney groans at the idea, while the others are stunned speechless.

"So soon?" Lily questions

"Yeah," Ted responds with a lovesick wonder in his eyes. "She's amazing!"

"How did you meet her?" Marshall asks.

"She's the doctor."

"Oh!" Barney, Marshall, and Lily all scream in horror.

"What?" Ted asks, confused about their reaction. He honestly thought they would be excited for him. Turns out they just don't get it.

"You can't date your doctor!" Marshall exclaims.

"Yes, I can. There's no rule about it."

"No you can't. It's the platinum rule," Barney proclaims.

"What's that?" Ted questions. He really isn't in the mood for another one of Barney's theories.

"You know the golden rule? Never love thy neighbor?" Barney asks excitedly.

"Actually that's-"

"Just go with it Ted. The platinum rule is never ever  _love_ thy neighbor. You shouldn't get involved with people you have to see. It leads to an inevitable fallout that you can't return from."

"I think it will be okay."

"I don't know. Barney may be on to something," Marshall theorizes. "That happened with the creepy neighbors Pi and Shay."

"Well, it doesn't matter," Ted declares. "I'm going out on a date with her tonight."

"Wow, big step," Lily mutters. "Weird step, but big step. I hope you're at least going to shave."

"Yes. I'm shaving."

* * *

"Well, it wasn't a date," he announces, walking back into the apartment later that night. "She can't legally date a patient. But as soon as we are done, she will say yes."

"She told you that?" Barney questions skeptically.

"Not exactly."

"She said she was going to say no didn't she?" Lily guesses.

"Yeah," Ted admits.

"Sorry man," Marshall admits.

"No," Ted insists. "I'm not going to lose her too. I will get her to say yes. After the ten sessions, she won't be my doctor anymore, and she'll say yes." All he wants is some acknowledgment from Stella. The beautiful Stella. She is all he can think about most days. Beautiful, successful Stella. He can't believe how many feelings he already has for her. He loves her already, which in a way, seems weird to him. Maybe he shouldn't be in love with Stella so fast. Maybe he is still trying to rebound from Robin, but it doesn't feel that way to him at all. He's already too far gone.


	6. Chapter 5- The Return

Today is the day. The day she goes back home. The day that she bids adieu to the rest of the world, and goes back to New York. She would be lying to say she is calm. In fact, she is the exact opposite. She has this feeling in the pit of her stomach that something isn't going to go right. In reality, there is more that could go wrong. A lot more. She could end up rejected by Lily, Marshall, and Barney, back alone where she started when she came to New York, except this time, as a single parent. She doesn't know if she can do this whole baby thing on her own, but she will if she has too, because damn it if she isn't already attached to the being in her stomach, regardless of who fathered it.

Still, she is incredibly nervous to go back. She doesn't really even know where to start. Seeing Ted first is the worst case scenario. He's the last person she wants to see, and as much as she wants to see Barney first, she doesn't think that showing up at his office without finding out what she's missed these past six months would be a good idea either. That leaves her with Lily and Marshall, and she knows that Marshall has probably sided with Ted. So Lily it is. Lily is the first person she is going to see when she gets back to New York.

She considers that shouldn't even see Lily the first day. Maybe she should give herself a day at the apartment. She knows that Ted won't be there, since him moving out was part of the divorce, and no one will know she is back, so no one will look for her there. Besides, she hasn't been handling the jet lag well on the last couple of flights because of the baby. She's going to need some rest before she'll be ready to face anyone.

* * *

As soon as she lands she feels more settled. She feels as if she is finally content. Even though there are a lot of amends to make, she feels a sense of peace. She feels like she's home. She doesn't know whether it's the exhaustion talking, but she's ready now. She's ready to slip back into as much of her old life as she can, minus the marriage with Ted.

All she can think of though, is when she should contact Lily. She decides on a text in the morning, because she doesn't want a bunch of angry visitors at her door in the middle of the night. The less time Lily has to blab, the better.

* * *

"God, it's really early," Lily mumbles, reaching for her buzzing phone early in the morning. "Which one of our boys do you think is having a crisis now?"

"My bets on Barney," Marshall mumbles into his pillow. "Ted's been doing so good lately. Stella's really been good for him."

"Yeah," she agrees. "She has. I still can't believe he convinced her to say yes, but if anyone is going to pull off something as romantic as a two minute date, it's Ted."

"Yeah. That's Ted," Marshall nods. "So who is it?" She doesn't know what to say. She looks down at the screen, and frankly, she's a little bit stunned. It's from neither Barney nor Ted. It's from Robin. She does her best to hide her obvious shock from Marshall, because she doesn't want to upset him.

"Oh just Barney," she quickly lies. "Must have drunk booty called me by accident again."

"Oh ok," he shrugs. "Let's crash a little bit more before we get up. I've still got a few minutes before my alarm goes off."

She knows crashing isn't an option. The text was from Robin. Robin wants to meet her for lunch today. Robin wants to meet her alone. Robin doesn't want her to tell anyone. It all can only mean one thing. Robin is back in New York City, and obviously, with some sort of secret.

As much as Lily wants to ditch Robin the way that Robin ditched them, she can't. She doesn't have the heart to turn away her best friend. No matter how much she hurt her other best friend. More importantly, she wants to pick her brain. She wants to know why she ran. A few more hours, and she will have the opportunity to ask. For Lily, lunch can't come soon enough.

* * *

Lily is sitting in the restaurant, impatiently waiting for Robin to show up. It's already about fifteen minutes since the two of them agreed to meet. In the back of her mind, she is scared that Robin has panicked and bailed. Maybe she got here and decided she wasn't ready, so she left again. Although, she does wonder why Robin picked a place all the way on this side of town. It's almost as if she doesn't want to be seen. Lily chooses that moment to look up at the door, and she gasps at what she sees. Robin's standing there, facing directly at her, with a long, red coat covering almost all of her. But still, she's different. She can't see her in profile yet, but it almost looks like she's... She can't be...

"Robin?" Lily shouts to her, bringing Robin's attention to her for the first time in six months.

"Oh my god, Lily. How are you?" Robin says, walking over to the table and giving the speechless Lily a hug.

"Um… good. You?" Lily manages to respond.

"Not bad."

"Ummm… so… uhhh… should we… sit down?"

"Yeah," Robin uncomfortably agrees, even though she was expecting that reaction.

They sit down, Lily still unable to process what in the world could be going on. Robin I'm-scared-of-babies Scherbatsky can't possibly have a baby growing in her uterus.

"What do you want to know?" Robin asks bluntly, knowing there must be a million and a half thoughts swirling through Lily's head right now.

"You're pregnant?" Lily asks, finally acknowledging the elephant in the room.

"Yes." So it's true. Robin is actually pregnant. That's all Lily needs to know to explain her absence. She was scared as all hell.

"How far along are you?" Lily inquires.

"A little over seven months." That's all the confirmation Lily needs. She was pregnant, and knew about it when she left. She can't help but feel bad for Ted, because he's missed out on most of his first child's existence. "I know you must have a lot of questions, so get them over with."

"Why did you run? Why the divorce? Having a baby isn't anything to be scared of Robin. Plus, you have Ted. He is going to make a great father-"

"The baby might not be Ted's," Robin admits, breaking Lily out of her ramble.

"Huh?" Lily mutters, not sure if she heard Robin right.

"The baby might not be Ted's," Robin restates.

"What do you mean the baby might not be Ted's?" Lily asks, shocked by the bombshell that Robin just dropped.

"I was having an affair," Robin admits, and in a weird way, it feels good to get it off of her chest. "I don't know who the father is. There isn't any way to rule either of them out until it's born."

"Oh my god." Lily is stunned. She had no idea that Robin had been having an affair. She never would have guessed that THAT was the reason why she left.

"You must hate me now," Robin sighs, and starts to stand up from the table. "I'm just gonna go."

"No, Robin," Lily clamors. She grabs Robin's wrist and pulls her back down. "I don't hate you," she reassures, to a somewhat relieved looking Robin. "I'm not happy that you left, or that you cheated on Ted, but I don't hate you."

"Really?" Robin asks.

"Really. If you don't mind me asking," Lily pauses, and waits for Robin to confirm before asking, "what happened?"

"I wish I knew," Robin sighs. "I wasn't happy. It was all so innocent at first, but eventually I realized that I didn't love Ted anymore, but I didn't want to do anything about it. Once I found out I was pregnant, I knew I had to leave."

"Why?" Lily questions. "Why didn't you just come clean with Ted?"

"I couldn't," she admits, choking back tears. "I was scared. Frankly, I still am. I knew he wouldn't take it well, and I didn't want the divorce to be about the affair and the baby. I wanted it to be about what it was- that I didn't love him the way I should have. Did the affair and the baby help me see that? Yes, but the honest truth was that we shouldn't have gotten married in the first place."

"Wow..." Lily mutters. Everything she's ever thought was true about Robin and Ted's marriage, but was always too scared to say is absolutely true. They really never should have gotten married. It would have saved them both a whole lot of hurt if they had broken up before all of this ever happened.

"I realized I settled for Ted because he was willing to do all of the things a woman should want with me. But they were things I never wanted. I never wanted the picket fence and the 2.5 kids and the husband that would always dote on me. But I thought that I needed to have that, and Ted was a great guy to do all that with. I never realized what I was missing."

"So, do you love him?" Lily asks.

"Ted?" Robin asks, confused. She is caught off guard by Lily's question.

"No.  _Him_ ," Lily stresses." The other man. Do you love him?"

"I do," she says, as she stares dreamy-eyed into space. "It's unlike anything I have ever felt before. Part of the reason I left was to see what would happen. He told me he loved me and I couldn't say it back." Something tickles the back of Lily's brain, like she's heard that all before. "I didn't know. I was scared and I was a coward. I didn't want to throw my marriage away for something that might not work out. But I also knew that this would be my last chance to go see the world, so I just went for it."

"So you've been traveling all this time?" Lily asks.

"Yep. Argentina, Morocco, Japan, Russia, Greece. All the places I really wanted to go."

"So what are you going to do about-?" Lily trails off.

"I don't know yet," Robin sighs. "He doesn't even know I am back yet. You are the only one who knows right now, and I would appreciate it if you kept it that way."

"I'll try."

"No Lily," Robin stresses. "You need to. Not a word to anyone. Not even Marshall."

"Alright. I won't tell anyone. Are you going to talk to Ted?"

"Yes I will, soon. I have to face him eventually, anyway," she ponders. "I just don't know where to find him."

"He's back at the old apartment," Lily informs. "We left him move back in, and then we got our own place."

"Wow, congrats." It seems to Robin like a lot has changed since she left. She wants to ask about Barney, but she doesn't want to raise suspicions. She's sure though, that if something was not right with him, Lily would have told her.

"Thanks," Lily smiles. "Oh, and you should know…. Ted has a girlfriend."

"Oh," she manages to squeak out. Her stomach sinks at that announcement. It shouldn't bother her, but that hit low. "Oh."

"You ok?" Lily asks. She can tell that Robin looks flushed.

"Yeah," Robin responds, shaking it off. "I just wasn't expecting that."

"You told him to move on," Lily points out.

"Yeah, but I didn't expect him to move on so soon I guess," Robin admits.

"It hurts doesn't it?"

"Yes," she sighs. "I don't know why, but it does."

"It hurts because you know there is always a piece of you that should be with him," Lily explains. "It happens to everyone in a relationship, but you have to remember that you let him go."

"I know," Robin laments. "I guess I should go see them."

"Them?" Lily questions, confused.

"Ted and Him," Robin announces, getting up from the table.

"Oh. Well, good luck with Ted."

"Thanks," Robin replies, walking away from the table.

"And Robin?" Lily calls out.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're back."

"I'm glad I'm back too."

* * *

 

She's depressed, Robin thinks as she stares out the cab window, the familiar streets of the city passing her by. She shouldn't be upset about Ted having a girlfriend. She pushed him away. She asked for the divorce. She doesn't love him. She has no reason to be jealous about it, none whatsoever. But yet, she is jealous.

When the cab pulls up in front of the GNB building, she starts to feel incredibly nervous. It took her long enough to figure out, but she knows that she wants to be with him. She missed him every day. But now, coming here, she realizes one thing she forgot. She hasn't heard from him in months. How does she know that he still loves her, that he hasn't been out with every woman in the city? What if she gets there and he doesn't care? What if he wants nothing to do with her or the baby?

She took the risk of leaving Ted for him, and it is too late to go back now. She just has to live with the consequences if he wants nothing to do with her.

The ride on the elevator is one of the longest of her life. What is he going to say when he sees her? What he going to say about her baby bump? Maybe he won't even be attracted to her anymore.

In a way, this trip is so similar to the one she had taken six months before. The one where she told him she was pregnant. The one where he told her he loved her.

She glides past the secretary with a brief hello and how are you, marking her old territory as the boss's girlfriend. Still, she is even more nervous to get to the door.

She opens it to see him staring down at some paperwork, rubbing his head in thought.

"Hi," she says, breaking him from his concentration.

"Robin?" He stares at her in shock, not believing that she could really be there, that she must be a figment of his imagination. She's not really in front of him. It's just been a long night trying to close out his deal, that's all.

She can't blame him for his look of shock. It would be out of the blue for him to see her standing in his office.

"Barney? You ok? I didn't mean to scare you, but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to call."

"It is you," He mumbles, dropping the paperwork in his hand to run and embrace her, almost knocking her over in the process. He runs his hands through her hair and pulls her lips towards his. "God I've missed you so much."

She couldn't be happier in this moment. She took a chance and for once, that chance paid off. She back in Barney's arms. "I've missed you too. And I should have said this six months ago, but I love you." She repeats it again with more confidence. "I love you."

"I love you, Scherbatsky. I missed you so damn much. Why did you have to go?" he whispers in her ear.

"You know why I had to go," she whispers back in reply.

"Ted?"

"Yeah."

"You know, I think we should get out of here," he suggests. "The last thing we need is Marshall walking in and finding us here, finding you here like this. You wanna head back to my place?"

"Yeah. I think I'd like that."

"Great."

* * *

The tension in the cab is hard to overcome. She's missed him so much, but at the same time, it's really weird to be back with him. She doesn't know what to do. It's pretty obvious that he has every intention of having sex when they get back to the apartment. She can tell by the way he is looking at her. She can't say that she isn't interested, she just doesn't know what it's going to be like. There was one guy she dated and got past the blue line, but never slept with in Argentina, and a few sexless dates in Japan, so she has no idea how it's going to feel now, having the baby inside her.

He can't believe that she's really here. He always thought that pregnant women look like manatees, but she's still as beautiful as ever, no breast feeding required. He thinks that maybe it's love. He can't believe that even in this condition, he still wants to fuck her. He still wants to take her and have his way with her, and god has it been so long for him. She turns to him, with a scintillating smile, and he knows where this is going. He's going to finally have her, and she chose him.

When they finally arrive, he helps her out of the cab, and when he takes a look at her stomach, all he can think is that he really wants that baby in there to be his. It's an odd thought, but he wants to be a dad if it's with someone as amazing as her. But he'll still love her even if the baby turns out to be Ted's.

"You look amazing," he breathes.

"I feel like a cow," she mumbles.

"We'll then you're the sexiest cow out there. It's so good to have you back," he tells her as he pulls her into a passionate kiss on the sidewalk, thanking his lucky stars that he lives far away from the rest of the gang. He wouldn't want anyone to catch them like this. "You want to go upstairs?"

"Lead the way."

* * *

The minute the apartment door closes, their lips lock, and hands start roaming everywhere. Her hands undo the buttons on his coat and go straight to his tie, while his push off her jacket and pull off her shirt. Her body looks different, but she's still stunning to look at, especially knowing what is in that bulge. Those boobs though, they are hotter than he ever thought possible.

It's a race to see who can undress the other faster, and their trip into his bedroom goes by in a blur for both of them.

Before they know it, she is lying on her back, and he is hovering above her, touching every inch of her skin with his lips and his hands. The sound of her moaning makes him want to be inside of her immediately.

The moment he pushes into her, he knows. He knows that he can never go back to other girls. He doesn't care what he has to do to keep her, but he only needs her now. She is the only one who can do it for him. He situates himself inside of her, and puts his hands on her rib cage, underneath her breasts.

He does an experimental thrust, pulling most of the way out her before slamming right back in. They moan in tandem as he realizes that this is it. She is his again. This is real.

"Is this ok?" he asks.

"Ok?"

"I just want to make sure I'm not hurting you," he answers. "I don't know what it's like with the baby."

"God," she moans. "It's been six months. I feel like I'm in heaven right now. Just shut up and fuck me."

He is happy to oblige. He doesn't want to rush this reunion, but he's been waiting a long time for this orgasm. He starts off slowly, gently moving in and out, letting the waves of pleasure ride over him in a way he hasn't been able to replicate since she left. He listens appreciatively to every mew and moan exiting her luscious lips.

To Robin, it is both a splendid and bizarre feeling to have him back inside her. It feels amazing, as always, but she keeps getting distracted by the baby moving around. She tries her best not to let it bother her, but even with Barney repeatedly hitting that sweet spot, she isn't able to keep all her focus on him. That is, until he bends down and bites her nipple. All thoughts go out the window, and she can't help but moan in pleasure.

In all the nights she spent alone on the road, she romanticized what sex with Barney had been like. She almost forgot about how downright rough and dirty they had been at times. While she doubts the sex swing could even hold her in her current state, she can't help but wonder what that would be like right about now. Thankfully, it's the thought of her riding the sex swing right now that brings her mind straight back to what she is doing, or more importantly, who is currently doing her.

In the moment, it feels to him like they've never been apart. He moves both his hands up to cup the amazingly large breasts. He pinches her nipples between his middle and ring finger in each hand, while he massages, all still while keeping the gentle pace he's set. He is afraid to go any faster, as he wants this to be legendary, and him losing it early would not be legendary. The stimulation turns her mews into larger moans and affirmations, which in turn, ticks up his pleasure, building to what he knows is going to be one hell of an orgasmic release.

She, in turn, has taken to scratching her nails down his back. She knows that it brings out the wild animalistic side of him, and while she has been enjoying the gentle pace he's set, she needs more, and she needs it now. She can tell he's holding back, and she doesn't want him to.

"Robin?" he stops momentarily to ask.

"What?"

"I can't be rough. I don't want to break the baby."

"You're not going to break it," she giggles at the thought. He really knows so little about babies. "I promise. Forget it's even in there. Please. I just need you so much." She pulls him down into an impassioned kiss, while simultaneously bucking her hips upward into him, causing him to groan loudly into the kiss.

He's gets back on his knees and pulls her hips up to meet his. He grabs her hand, pulling it to his mouth, and sucks the fingers into his mouth to wet them. She pulls her hand away, and reaches around her bulging stomach, to her clit. They moan in pleasure together as he slowly increases the pace and she plays with herself, until he is moving so fast and hard that her fingers can barely match his frantic thrusts. Even though they are both so close to their orgasm, neither one wants to give in to their release, because they both want this moment to last forever. In this moment, it is them and only them, back together in the way they've wanted to be for months.

She can feel the pressure building, and so can he. He can see it by the look on her face, by the way her nipples look flushed and protruded. He moans her name loudly, and as he does, she looks up at him, her piercing dark blue eyes gazing up into his, looking directly into his soul, and he loses it. His eyes roll back in his head, and all he can do is let the white hot pleasure of the best orgasm he's had in his life take over his body.

As she stares into his eyes, she knows that this is it, this is what is going to throw her over the edge. The way she can see right into him. The moment she sees his eyes roll backwards, she is gone to the world. The waves of pleasure wash over them and connect them, as they shudder against each other.

He collapses on her the best he can, while she plays with the hair at the base of his neck. She kisses his shoulder gently while they both recover. When he regains the strength, he pushes himself back up on his hands, and drops his lips to kiss her.

"God, I love you."

"Gee, Barney Stinson professing love for a girl  _after_  sex? Who would have guessed?" she teases.

"Haha," he responds sarcastically, not appreciating the joke.

"Actually, I'm not sure that the rest of the gang would believe it," she adds.

"No, they certainly would not."

"Barney?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you too."

He turns to her with the largest sincere grin spread over his face, before he lets his head drop, ashamed to ruin this perfect moment.

"I hate to say this," he sighs, "but I have to get back to work. I have a report to finish up before the end of the day. You can stay here and rest if you want to though."

"No that's fine," she answers. "I really should go see Ted, anyway. I have to tell him about the baby at some point. I might as well get it over with."

"Yeah. Good luck."

"Thanks," she smiles. "And Barney?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, and I'm glad to be back."

"I'm glad you're back too. I love you."

* * *

As Ted bustles around his apartment that evening, he can't help but think of how great a day it's been. Things went well at work, he got the time to meet Stella for a lunch date, and he had plans to hang out with the gang later. He doesn't remember the last time he felt this happy. He's just slightly rattled, because things are going almost too well, like the calm before a storm, and he hates it. He just wants to ignore whatever the bad thing is he can feel is headed his way.

Shortly thereafter, he hears a knock on the door. He doesn't think he is expecting anyone, but Stella mentioned possibly having a cancellation for her last appointment of the day. Still he finds it odd that she would be knocking, since she knows the door is normally open. He waits to see if the person tries the door knob before getting up off of the couch to answer. And of course, the minute he gets the door halfway open, he realizes exactly why he had those awful feelings earlier, as he glances the last person he wants to see right now. Robin.

"Ted," she murmurs.

He slams the door in her face, not really ready or willing to talk to her. He wonders how the day went to hell so fast. He's just not ready to face her yet. He's not ready for her to be back in his life just yet. He needs more time, more time on his own, more time with Stella, more time to decide if he wants her in his life as a friend.

"Ted! Please open back up!" She shouts through the door. "I need to talk to you." He storms over to the door, pissed as hell that NOW she wants to talk. She just up and left, and sent him divorce papers out of the blue, without ever saying a word, and now all of a sudden, she wants to hear what he has to say? Now she has the decency to face him? NO, she doesn't get to do that, if she wants to talk, he gets to talk first. He throws the door open, and he doesn't even give her the chance to respond.

"Excuse me?" he shouts. "You couldn't talk to me for almost 6 months? You don't even have the decency to tell me in person why you don't want to be with me and suddenly you need to talk to me? I don't think so!" he yells, before trying to shut the door in her face once again.

"Ted," she pleads. All she wants is for him to hear her out. She knows she deserves every bit of wrath she is enduring at the moment, but he needs to know about the baby. She reaches her hand out to stop the door before he can slam it in her face again.

"No!" he yells. "You told me to move on, so I'm trying to move on here!"

"Yes. I know," she replies. "And I wanted you to move on before you found out." And that is the moment he truly looks at her for the first time since he opened the door. He's not sure whether his eyes are deceiving him, or if she really is sporting a baby bump.

"Robin?" he stops drastically, finding the courage to really ask. "Are you … pregnant?"

"Yes." Her short, succinct reply is a life changing moment for him. All he can think about is that he is going to be a dad, and he somehow couldn't support her enough to make her feel comfortable about doing this together.

"I don't get it," he ponders, finally stepping aside to let her in the apartment. "Why would you run away from us if you're pregnant? You know I would do anything for you. It's not something to be scared of. I'll support you through anything."

"Ted, you don't understand. That's not it at all. I-"

"No, I get it," he sighs. "You were scared. You were feeling trapped by the baby. I know we talked about it, but I didn't know it would scare you. I will do anything to help with our baby." He runs his hand through his hair. "I just wish you would have let me help you."

"It might not be yours," she mumbles. The sentence stops him in his tracks.

"What?" he questions, not wanting to believe what he is sure really did just come out of her mouth.

"The baby might not be yours. I had an affair," she admits. "I'm sorry. I should have told you before that I was pregnant, but I wanted our break up to be about us, not about someone else."

He doesn't know what to say, what to do, what to think. She cheated on him. His wife cheated on him. He thought he was the perfect husband, but he wasn't, because she needed to go somewhere else for sex. How did he not know? They had what he considered to be a very active sex life. There is no way that she could have needed more. Maybe it was a one-time thing, back when he was working late. It was the only blemish from their marriage that he could think of.

"How many times?" he demands quietly, not sure where to take the conversation.

"What?" She is instantly startled by the subject change.

"How many times did you sleep with him?"

"I don't know," she confesses, hanging her head in shame.

"What do you mean you don't know?" he interrogates, starting to shout again.

"I don't know," she murmurs. She really doesn't want to get into it with him. She just wants to leave. Not to mention, she has no clue how many times she and Barney had sex. She couldn't even guess if she wanted to.

"So it happened more than once?" he demands, quietly again.

"Yes."

"Same person?" he asks, almost whisper-like, letting everything sink in.

"Yes."

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long were you having an affair for?" he questions, very frustrated, but still very quiet. She can feel the anger building in the tension in the room. If she didn't want to go into the number, she most certainly doesn't want to get into this, but she knows there is no way out. None whatsoever.

"Six months," she answers, barely audible.

"How could you do this to me?" he screams.

"I don't know."

"No. NO. You don't get to say I don't know, because you do know," he continues to scream at her. "You had a full fucking fledged relationship with another man while we were married, Robin. MARRIED. You can't just pretend that six months is nothing. Did our wedding vows mean nothing to you?"

"I'm sorry, Ted," she pleads, beginning to cry. The stress is almost becoming unbearable for her. "I didn't want to hurt you like this," she begins to scream back. "That's why I left. That's why I didn't want you to hold on hope of me coming back." She starts to feel something. Something more than the anger at his holier-than-thou attitude. "It's the baby that made me realize that we weren't right for each other. That's why… AHHHH." She falls to the couch, clutching her stomach, and curling over in pain.

"Robin?" Ted panics, suddenly quiet, and worried beyond belief.

"Oh god. something's wrong," she whimpers. "Ted. I need to go to the hospital. Now."

"Oh god," he mumbles, a million and one thoughts running through his head. "Yeah. Hospital."


	7. Chapter 6- Life and Death

 

"I'm scared Ted. Really scared," Robin murmurs, curled over in pain, her head resting in Ted's lap in the back of a cab. Thankfully, they are only about a 5 minute ride to the hospital, but to the two of them, it feels light years away.

"It will be ok," he reassures, even though he doesn't believe it himself. He doesn't know what is going to happen to her or the baby that might be his. "I am here for you, and I'll be here for you whether it's mine or not. You still mean a lot to me, and if I can't have you as my wife, I want you as my friend."

"Thanks, Ted. Can you promise me something?" She asks weakly, her voice starting to fade.

"Yes. Anything."

"Please look out for the baby if I don't make it."

"Robin-" he counters, not wanting to believe her.

"Promise me."

"I promise," he agrees as she falls unconscious on his lap.

* * *

It feels like an eternity until they pull up at the entrance to the emergency room, but he knows deep down that it's only been thirty seconds. He scoops her out of the cab, running completely on adrenaline, and sprints into the hospital. He starts screaming at the nurses, and they quickly spring into action. They quickly whisk her away, leaving him to hurry behind.

Even when the nurses get her to an emergency bay, the doctors quickly assess the situation and realize that it isn't good. Before Ted can even process what is going on, they are hurriedly wheeling Robin away, murmuring something to him about internal bleeding and fetal distress. Before he realizes it, he is standing alone in the hallway of the emergency department, shell-shocked and lost. It's a nurse that finally breaks him out of his confusion induced fog.

"Sir? Sir? Are you okay? Can I help you find someone?"

"Um, yes. My wife, no ex-wife, was just taken away. Do you know where they went?"

"The name?"

"Robin Scherbatsky. I don't know if they even checked her in," he says, trembling.

"They didn't check her in, but they did list a female patient being rushed into surgery. Let me see if I can locate a doctor for you."

"Thanks."

"If you want to head to the OR waiting room, you can do that."

OR. That scares him more than anything. Can the baby even survive at this point? He doesn't know what could happen, or why she was even rushed away so fast. He doesn't want to think about anything bad happening to either of them.

"Which way?"

She points him down the hallway. He follows the signs mindlessly, as though in a daze, through the numerous winding corridors and up the elevator to find the OR waiting room. He approaches the desk, hoping for the best.

"I'm here for Robin Scherbatsky."

"I don't have that name here currently," the nurse informs him.

"I know, we only came into the ER about ten minutes ago, I think." He starts to question how long they've really been here, as the whole thing has become a blur.

"Oh, our pregnant Jane Doe. Here is some intake paperwork. If you could fill this out, I will see if I can get an update, but I can't promise anything until they are finished with surgery."

"Thanks."

He swallows hard and takes the clipboard to the far corner of the room where he immediately gets out his phone.

"Lily," he says hurriedly. "I need you to meet me at the hospital."

"What? Why?" she questions, panicking into the phone.

"I don't have time to explain right now, but it's Robin. Hurry."

"We're on our way."

"Can you call Barney too?"

"Yes."

He hangs up, breathing a small sigh of relief, because finally, he won't be on his own. He tries to focus on filling out the paperwork, and not the fact that Robin is lying on an operating table, with two lives in danger.

* * *

"Go for Barney," Barney says, as he answers the phone in his office. He's still poring over the report that Robin distracted him from earlier. The last thing he needs is more interruptions.

"Barney!" Lily shouts into his ear. "Thank god! I need you to meet us at the hospital."

"What? Why?" He starts to worry. Who could possibly be in the hospital?

"I don't know. It's a long story and I don't know it all. Ted wouldn't tell me. He just asked me to call you and tell you to meet us there. Hopefully I can explain it all to you when you get here."

Crap. It's Robin. It's the only reason that Lily wouldn't tell him over the phone.

"I'll be right there."

He jumps from his desk completely ignoring the paperwork. Some things are more important.

* * *

"Ted!" Lily exclaims as she finally spots him in the waiting room. "We got here as soon as we could. What's wrong? What's wrong with Robin?"

"I don't know," he sighs, throwing the clipboard to the side and putting his head in his hands. "We were arguing and she collapsed on the couch in pain, and now she's in surgery. Why did I do that? I shouldn't have fought with her," he argues with himself.

"Ted," Marshall comforts, sitting down in the chair next to him. "You didn't cause this. Unless you stabbed her. You didn't stab her did you?"

"God no Marshall!"

"Are you done with the paperwork? I can take it up to the desk," Lily offers.

"Yeah. Thanks." Lily picks it up, and walks it to the desk. As she turns, he continues to second guess himself.

"I shouldn't have argued," Ted sighs. "Frankly I'm not surprised that all this happened." Lily walks back and sits down on the other side of him to comfort him as he continues. "I should have seen it coming. But now it's not just Robin's life on the line. It's the baby's too, and-"

"Wait," Marshall utters, turning to Ted in shock. "What baby? Robin's pregnant?"

"Yeah, and I just want them to be ok," Ted laments. Marshall's head continues to real in shock, while Lily continues to rub his back. "There is always going to be a part of me that is going to love her. I shouldn't have yelled at her like that. That's not going to solve anything. It's just going to push her away. And I'd rather be her friend than not in her life at all," he says with a huff.

"But dude," Marshall exclaims, "you're having a baby together, how could you-" Both Ted and Lily turn to him. The glares he gets from them makes him blush in embarrassment. "Guys, what did I miss?"

"The baby might not be mine Marshall. She cheated on me."

"Oh," he mutters. "Oh. I'm just going to shut up now."

"It's ok. You didn't know," Ted responds, then it hits him. Lily didn't have the same reaction that Marshall did. "Wait a minute. You," he accuses, turning and pointing at Lily, "don't seem surprised by any of this."

"I don't?" she squeals, her voice twice as high as normal.

"No."

"Ok fine," she sighs and admit. "We met for lunch today. She texted me and told me that she was back in town and she wanted to see me alone first."

"Lily-" Ted scolds.

"I'm sorry Ted," she argues, "but I promise you that I only found out today too. I had no idea why she left or that she was pregnant."

"When did my life get so fucked up?" he murmurs, throwing himself back against the chair.

"I know it feels that way now Ted, but we've talked about this," Lily says. "This is a good thing for you. Her leaving was a good thing. You have Stella now. You said you still wanted to stay friends with her when she came back, because you still wanted her in your life. But she did you a favor, because as much as you don't want to hear it, she isn't your one, and you aren't hers."

"I know," he whines.

"Ok. I'm here," Barney exclaims, running in the waiting room. He starts the act right away, because he already knows. He knows they are all there for Robin, and he isn't there because he might be the baby's father. He knows he is going to need to rely on the mask a whole lot today. "What the hell is going on?" he asks, pausing briefly, before continuing to the question he already knows the answer to. "Wait. We're all here?"

"Robin's back," Lily explains. He tries his best to act surprised. He really doesn't know if he's convincing anyone anymore.

"What?" he asks the others.

"Yeah."

"Oh," he sighs. "What's wrong?" He asks, because this part he really needs to know. He needs to know what's wrong with the woman he loves.

"Uh, Barney, she's pregnant," Ted pauses to let it set in, and Barney replies with the appropriate amount of fake shock. "She came to see me, and we were fighting, cause apparently she cheated on me, and all of a sudden she was grabbing her stomach in pain. She's in surgery right now. I don't know anything else."

"What?" Surgery. He doesn't need to fake his reaction to that at all. Now he's worried. More worried than he's ever been about anything in his life. "What about the baby?" he asks cautiously, almost trembling.

"I don't know. I don't know anything at all." He wonders why Barney cares so much. It's not like him at all.

'That's strange,' Lily thinks to herself. No what is Robin doing back in town. And he doesn't seem concerned for Robin. He seems more concerned about the baby. He didn't ask about the affair. He didn't even ask if Ted was the dad.

"So we just wait?" Barney asks.

"Pretty much."

* * *

"Robin Scherbatsky?" A doctor emerges about twenty minutes later. No one had spoken since Barney had arrived. Everyone spent the time trying to wrap their head around their own revelations for the day.

"That's us," Ted says, the first of them to get up on their feet. "What happened?" Ted asks, while the rest of them join him.

"She was suffering from a condition called placental abruption. It's where the placenta begins to separate from the uterine wall, which cuts of the oxygen supply to the baby, and causes heavy bleeding for the mother."

"But she wasn't bleeding when I brought her in."

"Most women have external bleeding, but she had a concealed abruption, so all of the blood was trapped in the uterus. The reason she fell unconscious was due to shock from the loss of blood."

"How is she?" Lily asks the questions that everyone wants to know, but everyone is too afraid to ask.

"Both mom and baby are critical but stable," the doctor explains. "Mom is in recovery, but she lost a lot of blood. We aren't sure when she is going to wake up, and when she does, she is going to be very weak and need to be free from stress."

"How about the baby? How is the rest of the pregnancy going to go?"

"Sorry, I must not have explained myself well. Placental abruption is not something that can be fixed. We had to perform a Cesarean. The baby wasn't receiving any oxygen and she was at risk of an infection if she happened to inhale any blood. We took her straight to the NICU. She's very lucky. A few minutes later and she might not be alive."

"Her?" Ted questions. "The baby's a girl?"

"Yes. Are you the father?"

"Yes..." he says, but quickly corrects himself, "no... Maybe. I'm not sure."

"Oh..." the doctor says uncomfortably. "Ummm... Would you all like to see her? Robin won't be awake for at least a half hour, and we can have someone come get you when she does."

"Yeah, I think we'd like that. Can we all be there at once?" Ted asks.

"Normally we don't, but it's just going to be the four of you?"

"Yes," Lily answers.

"Ok. I can get all four of you setup with access, just if anyone asks, you're family. I'll have the nurse come by in a few minutes to process the paperwork," the doctor tells them, before turning and walking away.

They go back to their seats and collapse, sitting in silence and thinking about all that has changed in just the past few hours. One of them is a parent. Maybe even two of them. Or as only Barney knows, definitely two of them, it's just a matter of which one.

"Scherbatsky?" a nurse asks.

"Yes?" Marshall answers.

"Could you follow me please?"

Marshall and Lily are quick to follow, while Ted and Barney both hesitate, both with the same thoughts running through their head. This is it. This is the moment they might meet their daughter.

Barney is quick to snap out of it, though, knowing that this late in the game he can't afford to get caught. Not here, not now, not like this. No one notices his hesitation, because everyone is too focused on Ted.

When they get to the NICU, they are taken to a locker room of sorts. The nurse asks for each of their names, and prints each of them off a bracelet that will give them access to the room the baby is in. They are all quick to don the protective yellow see-through scrubs, and even Barney doesn't complain about the color or having to wear something so inferior over his suit.

They follow the nurse to a clear, but covered incubator at the far end of the room. They pass a few closed curtains on the way, and they can't help but think that this will be their life for a while. This room will be a big part of it.

Lily pushes Ted to the front of the group, and instinctively, without realizing until afterward, does the same thing with Barney. She doesn't know what causes her to do it, but something in her gut tells her that Barney needs to see the baby more than her. She blames it on her mother's intuition, and promises herself that she'll think about it more later.

Both Ted and Barney instantly think she is the most beautiful thing they've ever laid their eyes on. After all, she is her mother's daughter. They look at her incredibly tiny frame. She's not that much bigger than Ted's hand and she could use Marshall's hand for a bed. She's covered in tubes and wires, both of which leave her tiny body and connect to machines outside of her little plastic bubble. But she's alive she's very much alive and holding her own. She's strong and a fighter, just like her mother.

"She's so tiny," Ted murmurs to himself.

"I think we could all fit her in our hands," Marshall adds.

She had been sleeping, but the moment that all four of them perch over her, her eyes flutter open. She stares up at them with the brightest pair of blue eyes they've ever seen.

"Oh, look at her eyes," lily squeals quietly. "They look just like Robin's."

All Barney can think is that there is no way those are Robin's eyes. They are much too light to be Robin's eyes, which can only mean one thing: she's not Ted's.

He may have had six months to prepare for this, but it still hits him like a ton of bricks. He's a dad. It's all real. He made this incredibly tiny being.

"I wonder if she's mine," Ted ponders aloud.

There is no way Barney is going to share his thoughts on that one. Of course, he can't be certain either, but he is 95 percent sure that she is not Ted's.

At that moment, a nurse comes over and interrupts them.

"Is one of you Ted?" she asks.

"That's me," Ted replies.

"Robin's woken up and is hysterical. She's asking to talk to you."

"Yes, sure. Where is she?"

"She's in room 7A26."

"Can you guys stay here? I promised Robin that I would make sure that she's safe."

"Absolutely, Ted," Lily answers. "We'll be right here."

* * *

The minute Robin wakes up, she realizes something's wrong. She's in pain. Immense pain. On top of it, she doesn't recognize the white walls at all. She struggles to remember what country she is in, until it all comes flooding back to her. She was with Ted, and they were arguing, and then they were rushing to the hospital. She weakly starts calling out for him, until she realizes that something's not right. The baby isn't inside of her. What happened to the baby? She ups her voice to as much of a scream as she can muster.

"Honey, honey, you need to calm down," the nurse that comes running over to her says in a soothing voice.

"Where's Ted? I need Ted. Ted!" she shouts, getting more aggravated and stressed by the second. "Ted!"

"You need to calm down. Is Ted the man who brought you in?"

Robin nods.

"He's here. I'll send someone to go get him. Just try to rest. He will be here really soon."

She closes her eyes and takes a few deep but panicked breaths, and before she knows it, Ted is walking in the door to her room.

"Ted, thank god!" she rants. "Where's the baby? It's gone. The baby's gone. It didn't make it. They had to take it-"

"Robin, calm down," he whispers while she continues talking over him.

"-to save me didn't they?"

"Shhhh," he mutters, stroking the top of her head. "She's fine. She's just fine. She tiny and she's having trouble breathing, but she's a fighter like her mother."

"She is?"

"Yes."

"It's a girl?"

"Yes."

Her breathing slows and she lets her head collapse on the bed. "She's fine. She's ok. She's alive," she mutters like it's a mantra.

"I could say the same for you," Ted replies. She looks at him with questioning eyes. "We weren't sure that either of you were going to make it, especially with the way they rushed you off. I'm so glad you're ok."

"I don't feel ok. I feel like I just got sucker punched in the stomach."

"It's just the incisions. Do you need me to go get a nurse for some more pain meds?"

"No," Robin insists.

"Don't be a hero. You need to stay healthy for her. You are going to need pain meds."

"Alright," she sighs, giving in, because she knows he's right. "Go."

* * *

After the nurse gives her an injection through her IV, Ted finally brings up what's been on his mind all day.

"Who's her dad?" he asks, calmly this time.

"I don't know."

"Are you planning on finding out?"

"No, I'm not," Robin answers sarcastically. "I'm just going to pretend she doesn't have a father. Get your head out of your ass, Ted."

"Sorry."

"You should be," she snaps. "I'm exhausted. It's the last thing on my mind right now. If you want to ask the doctors and nurses for a test, go right ahead, but if I need to do it, it's going to have to wait."

"Ok. You don't have a problem if I do it?" he asks, treading water carefully this time. He realizes he probably shouldn't have brought it up, but it's too late now.

"Nope," At this point she could care less whether Barney or Ted is the father. She's exhausted, and all she cares about is seeing her daughter and making sure she is ok.

"Does everyone else know I'm here?" she asks, because she can't help but wonder what happened while she was out.

"Barney, Lily, and Marshall are all down with the baby. I was too until you wanted to see me."

"Sorry," she replies curtly." I guess I shouldn't have distracted you then.""

"Nonsense," he insists. It doesn't matter to him that she took him away from the baby, but somehow he just can't help but dig himself into another hole. "What about the other guy? Does he even know you're here?"

"Yes," she replies quickly. She wishes Ted knew why he really shouldn't go down this road right now, but at the same time, she realizes that would mean breaking the peace.

"Is he here?"

"I don't know," she quickly lies.

"Do I have to worry about seeing him?" he questions. Last thing he needs is an awkward run in. She wonders what he would think if he knew that he already saw him.

"No," she answers, because he doesn't have to worry. There won't be any sort of awkward confrontation. If only she could see Barney right now. "Now can you just let this go?" she begs and pleads. She's ready to be done, ready to see her daughter and take another nap. She hadn't even caught up on the jet lag, and now here she is, in the hospital talking to Ted about this after midnight.

"Fine," Ted agrees. "I feel really guilty for how I acted earlier," he admits. He can see her patience running thin, and he doesn't want to stress her out anymore. He can let everything else go for today, and attempts to take the conversation in a one eighty. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you like that."

"It's fine, Ted."

"No, it's not," he insists. "I shouldn't have screamed at you. I feel responsible for what happened."

"I doubt that's true," she responds, although she can't help but wonder how much her stress level contributed to the situation, after all, she still has no idea what even happened.

"I do though."

"Ted. Stop," she demands. "It happened. We're both fine. We both survived. Besides, I really felt weird all day. I don't think it was you anyway."

"Well, for what it's worth, I'm sorry," he says apologetically. "I'm not going to take something out on you like that again."

"Apology accepted. Thanks," she answers, tears starting to form at the corner of her eye.

"Of course."

"What does she look like?" she asks, curious. There is so much she wants to know about her baby. There are so many things to learn.

"She could fit in Marshall's hand she's that small," Ted replies. "She has your eyes." Robin sighs. She can't help but wonder if they are really hers, or if they are really Barney's bright eyes. She doesn't have long to think about a baby with his eyes, because the doctor comes in and interrupts her train of thought.

"Robin? How are you doing?" the doctor asks. He's new to Ted, but obviously not new to Robin's case.

"Ok, I guess?" she replies, because she really doesn't know how she feels.

"I know it's a lot to process," the doctor reassures her. "Do you understand what happened?"

"I have no clue," she admits.

"You had what is called a placental abruption. Basically, the placenta started to detach, causing severe bleeding, and cutting off the baby's oxygen supply," the doctor explains. "You are both very lucky you came in when you did. The baby was very low on oxygen. A few more minutes, and she probably would not have survived. Even so, we still had to intubate her in order to help her breathe. Her lungs aren't fully developed yet, and we didn't have time for a steroid injection for her lungs before birth."

"Is she going to be ok?" Ted questions. She didn't look  _that_  in danger when he saw her.

"Being born at 30 weeks gestation, the statistics are in her favor. Of course, something could always go wrong, and she could have lifelong complications, but many babies are born at this stage and become happy and healthy children." Both Robin and Ted breathe a sigh of relief at that. "How are you doing? What is your pain level?

"Maybe a seven?" Robin answers.

"That could be better, but we need to take into consideration your milk supply, if you are considering that." She nods. "Ok. I'll get one of the nurses to get you ready to take you down to the NICU. She is going to need to eat soon, so they can get you set up with her. The nurse will be in in a few minutes."

Robin nods yet again, and lies back on the bed and closes her eyes, finally letting herself rest. Ted takes the opportunity to follow the doctor out of the room and into the hallway.

"Excuse me?" Ted asks.

"Yes?" the doctor responds, turning around to face Ted.

"Is there any way we can get a paternity test?"

"You don't think you're the father?" the doctor questions carefully.

"She's actually told me she doesn't know. Is there any way we can get the process started?"

"Well, we have two options," the doctor answers, getting right down to business. "We can start with the simple blood type test, which we can get the results from immediately, or we can go straight to the typical DNA test, but that takes a few days for the results to come back."

"What is the downside to the blood type one?"

"Well, we can't prove you are the father, but we could rule you out depending on your blood type and the baby's. It works best in the case of a two father option. If you aren't the father, the other man is, then there is no need for the more expensive test."

"And if it's inconclusive?"

"We go ahead and do the other test."

"How soon can we do the blood type one?"

"Right away. Just let me go talk to the nurse."

* * *

He paces around anxiously, waiting. It feels like the longest he's waited for something in his life. Longer than he waited for the answer to his proposal to Robin. He sees a nurse go into get Robin, and he sees them come back out. She invites him to come with them, but he tells her what he is waiting for, and her only response is a sigh. He thinks that she really must not care. It hurts him that she doesn't care whether or not he is the father.

Finally, the nurse finds him. He follows her to the NICU, where she takes him into a back room. She gets out loads of equipment; wipes, a tray with small divots in it, bottles of solution, and a needle, so he is surprised when she just simply pricks his finger and lets drops of blood fall into the divots.

"That's it?" he questions, still a bit surprised that this is all it is.

"All I need to do is type your blood and compare it to the baby's and mom's," she explains. "All it takes is a few drops of blood for each solution."

"I know my blood type already."

"We want to do it again just to be sure. We typed Robin's blood before surgery, and we did the baby's earlier, just in case she would need a transfusion."

In the background, he can hear everyone fussing over Robin, and their cacophony is a distinct dissonance to his mental dialogue and worry. He can't help but think it's a long moment, waiting for the results to this test. The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes the whole day's just been a string of really long moments.

* * *

It doesn't take long once she enters the NICU for Marshall, Lily, and Barney to surround her with a big hug, and remind her just why she loves this family. No matter what happens, they are always here for her, no matter how she left things with them. The nurses pass her along, while Marshall welcomes her back, and they all congratulate her on the baby. But it's the look in Barney's eye, in their telepathic communication that tells her all she needs to know.

When she finally gets wheeled over to the incubator by the nurse, she gasps. Ted said she was small, but she was not expecting her to be quite this small. She's not that much longer than a pen. She wonders how she is going to do this. How can she take care of someone quite this tiny? But it's not a question to worry about right now, because all she wants to do is protect her. She doesn't care if she has to stay in this room for the next year if that's what it takes. She knows in that moment, that she would do anything for this tiny thing that is smaller than a bottle of scotch.

* * *

"Do you remember how this works?" the nurse asks.

"Yes, vaguely, A type and B type are each a different dominant gene, and O is the recessive?"

"Yes."

"Alright. Here we go. Mom is O negative, baby is A positive-"

He doesn't even need to hear the rest of what she says. He's B negative. He knows what that means.

* * *

He walks out to the rest of the gang, trying to hide the expression on his face. Everyone looks up at him, except Robin. Robin chooses not to look up. She doesn't need to hear it from Ted. She doesn't need him to confirm what she already knows. The baby's eyes give it all away, because unlike what Ted said, they're not her eyes. They're not her eyes at all.

"She's not mine."


	8. Chapter 7- A Million and One Pieces

 

"She's not mine."

Robin continues to look at the baby. She doesn't think she has the strength to face Ted right now, but that's not the way he wants it.

All Barney can do at the moment is hope that no one can see the glimmer of hope in his eye. The glimmer of happiness that she is his daughter.

Lily and Marshall can do nothing but stare at Ted in shock. They had been rooting for him. It's been a lot of downhill emotions for him since Robin left, and as much as Lily knows they aren't right for each other, she doesn't want to see him hurt all over again. It had taken months to fully snap him out if the funk, and now they appeared to be headed to funkville all over again.

Lily can feel that something has changed in this moment, though. She can feel it in the air. An excitement of sorts. A figurative cheer. As if Ted not being the father was the outcome that was meant to happen, that everyone had been hoping to happen. And it's true. Ted isn't meant to become a father like this. He's meant to find the right girl, marry her, have two kids, and live happily ever after. He doesn't deserve fatherhood like this.

"Aren't you going to say something?" Ted asks breaking everyone out of their funk.

"What do you want me to say?" Robin snaps, clearly at wits end. "I'm sorry?" It's not like she could control which one of them was the father, and little does he know, that even if she could have, she wouldn't have chosen him.

Barney stands awkwardly off to the side, trying to not let his emotions get the best of him.

"Would be nice," Ted declares miserably.

"I'm sorry that she's not yours," Robin says, but without the intonation of sincerity behind it, because she's not sorry.

"No your not," Ted accuses, for once in his life, reading her like a book.

"You know what? You're right," she snaps back. "I'm not sorry she's not yours. I'm happy her father is who he is." Barney breaks and cracks a tiny smile at this. It lights up his heart to hear her say that she would pick him any day to be her baby's father over the man who is already basically a dad. "I wouldn't change that, but I thought you were going to be my friend. If you can't do that, maybe you have no business here right now."

"Fine. I'll go," he snarls. "I thought you'd be better than this. I thought you would at least acknowledge how I feel."

"I do," she retorts. "You just don't see it. Now go before you get us both kicked out of here."

As Ted storms off, Lily rushes to Robin's side, where she is quietly crying, trying not to let the tears show. By the way Robin tenses up when Lily touches her, Lily can tell she isn't in the mood to be touched. That is until Barney approaches her from the other side and starts rubbing small circles on her shoulder. It's the way she relaxes, lets out a small sigh and starts to let tears fall in greater quantity that changes things in Lily's eyes. Lily realizes that that's the kind of reaction she would have with Marshall. Just one touch of his hand would heal all her wounds and relax her enough to move on. But it's Barney, she thinks to herself. Why would Robin have that reaction to Barney?

"Holy shit," Lily mutters under her breath.

'Yeah, that wasn't what I was expecting," Marshall adds, not following Lily's train of thought, still in the Ted situation.

But Lily's in her own little world. Her head keeps repeating his name, like little alarm bells. Barney, Barney, Barney. Because now that she notices, she realizes that there is no going back to the ignorant bliss if a few hours ago. Barney and Robin have a child. Together. Barney. And Robin. Her best friend cheated on her husband with their best friend.

All the pieces of evidence she's unknowingly gathered over the past few months start to form a picture in her head. It's why they spent so much time together. Why they had so many inside jokes. Why he cried almost as hard as Ted did when she left. Why he wouldn't let her read his letter. Why he professed his love for her. Why he even loves her. Why he's been depressed lately. Why he's been pretending to pick up bimbos for the last year. Why he's been acting strangely the whole time he's been here at the hospital. Why he didn't seem shocked by the fact that Robin was here, but nearly lost it when he found out they were in surgery. Why the baby's eyes are so damn blue.

She doesn't get why she didn't see it earlier. It all makes so much sense now. Except for one thing. Falling into bed with Barney one time and calling it a mistake afterwards is one thing, but she knows straight from the horse's mouth that this was no one time thing. This was a repeated occurrence. This was a full on lengthy affair. Robin kept going back for more. She doesn't get it. Why did she keep going back for more? It's Barney.

And oh god, Ted. Ted. How the hell is Ted going to react to this? He's going to kill Barney. Literally kill him, which is the last thing that little girl needs.

"Ms. Scherbatsky?" A nurse interrupts the silence in the room, while Robin's still sitting in her wheelchair gently reaching in the incubator and stroking the top of the baby's head. "I need to take you in the back room right now and get you set up with a breast pump. She is going to need to be fed soon." Robin sighs. She feels like she just got here and she already has to leave.

"And that's my cue to take off," Barney announces. "It's only a little after one. Last call can still be made." Lily rolls her eyes. He's always keeping up the act. "You guys gonna join me?" Robin's heart sinks at his announcement. Only a few hours ago they were in bed together. It's all an act, everything he said to her earlier, it was all lies.

"It's been a long day," Marshall answers. "I think we're just going to go home and catch some sleep. That ok with you?" he asks, turning to Robin.

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Goodnight," Marshall says for the three of them. "I hope that everything turns out ok."

"Thanks."

She watches as all three of them turn and walk out of the NICU together. And with that, she's alone with the nurses, officially a single mother.

* * *

When they reach the outside of the hospital, Barney hails a cab, but lets Marshall and Lily take it. They thank him immensely, because it's so unlike him to do something selfless. Lily sees right through it though, and she wonders if he's even leaving.

As soon as the married couple is out of sight, he turns immediately around and marches straight back to the NICU.

He finds Robin perched by the baby's bedside.

"Hi," he mutters.

"I thought you left to go bang some girls at MacLaren's," she says sarcastically.

"Do you really think I'm that shallow?" he spats.

"Didn't know what to think, really," she replies fiercely.

"Did you want me to tell them here?" he interrogates.

"No." She hadn't thought about it like that. All she thought of was that he was abandoning her. He wasn't doing that at all. He was just keeping the secret.

"I had to keep up appearances for them."

"Sorry. I misunderstood."

"It's fine. I get it."

"So..."

"So..."

"She's so small," Robin says. "Ted said she was small, but I didn't think she'd be quite this small."

"Can we hold her?" he asks.

"The doctor said not until she is off the ventilator," she answers sadly. "They did say it was good to touch her as much as we want to though."

He reaches in the incubator to stroke her arm. He starts to laugh when he touches her.

"What?" she giggles along with him.

"She just feels weird, almost fuzzy. Just wasn't what I was expecting."

"The nurse told me it's called lanugo. It's a hair that covers all infants, but it disappears once they get to full term, so it's usually gone by birth."

"Oh." They both sit in silence for a moment as they touch her. "So are we going to talk about what's going to happen?" he questions bluntly.

"With us?"

He nods. "I want to be involved in her life. I don't want you to have to do this alone. You can move in with me, I'll get all the baby stuff."

She's a bit taken aback by his forwardness. "Are you sure about that? I'm not sure how that would work. I think it might be better if I stay in my apartment," she answers awkwardly.

"Then I'll move in with you for a while," he offers. "Just until you're comfortable with her."

"Barney," she says cautiously, "that's great and all, but I think that maybe we shouldn't if we want to have any sort of relationship."

"Ok," he whimpers. She can tell she's crushed him. "Maybe you're right. We can talk about this later. But I just want you to know that I want to be involved."

She smiles. She never expected him to be quite like this.

"I had an idea for a name," she murmurs. He looks at her with questioning eyes, expecting her to continue. "McKenna."

"Like after the scotch?"

"No!" she says offendedly. He stares at her until she caves. "Ok yes. It's didn't start out that way. I realized it later, but let's face it. A bottle of scotch is the reason that she's exists."

"That's a really good point," he agrees.

"So you like it?"

"Yeah. McKenna Scherbatsky." He likes the feel of it. It rolls off his tongue like, well, scotch. "I like it."

"I was actually thinking McKenna Stinson." He looks up at her with such love in his heart. He can't believe that she is willing to give her his last name. She's thought about it a lot, and she hopes that his name will keep him in her life. She hates to think about it this way, but she is somehow hedging her bets.

"But the gang will find out-" he adds.

"They are going to find out soon enough anyway, and she deserves to have your name." He still can't quite believe that he didn't have to argue about this.

"Okay," he sighs. "What about a middle name?"

"I don't know. I've been thinking about McKenna for so long."

"You do know that Ted never would have gone for McKenna," he comments flippantly.

"I know. That was only the name if she was yours and a girl," she says.

"You had other ones picked out?" he questions, surprised by her revelation.

"Yep. I had three others," she admits. "McKenna was always my favorite."

"What were the others?"

"Abigail and Ryan for Ted and James for a boy with you."

"Wow," he murmurs. She really thought this out. "You sure did a lot of thinking."

"I had a lot of time to think," she replies.

"How about Kate?" he asks. "After your sister."

"McKenna Kate Stinson." The name flows off his lips like honey. "Yeah. I like it." He focuses his attention back down to the incubator from Robin. "Hey McKenna," he says softly, while he strokes her head lightly. She makes a fist and moves her arm at the noise. "I think she likes it."

"I think she does too." Robin looks at him, and in this moment, she couldn't be happier.

"Robin?" the nurse interrupts quietly.

"Yes?" They both are broken out of their revelry to acknowledge the nurse.

"I know you want to stay here, but it's time for you to get your rest." Robin sighs. She has no interest in leaving McKenna's bedside. She looks longingly at McKenna and then at Barney.

"I'll stay here," he says. "Don't worry about her. She'll be just fine."

"Alright," she reluctantly agrees. She's ok with him staying there. He'll protect her. "Goodnight McKenna. I love you so much," she says, touching her one last time before letting the nurse wheel her out of the room.

* * *

"What's wrong baby?" Marshall asks, after Lily's woken him up for the fifth time.

"Nothing," she lies yet again. "Just all the stuff that happened today. It's a lot to think about." She hates lying to Marshall, and she rarely ever lies to him but this has to be one of those times that it's necessary. She really knows she can't share this secret because she doesn't even know herself if it's true. She knows in her heart that it's true, though. She could see it in the way that Barney looked at the baby.

She lies in bed, wondering what she should do about it. She knows that Barney will admit it to her first. Robin will protect herself for all it's worthy to not have the secret come out yet. There's too much on the line yet. Barney on the other hand, has already admitted a whole damn lot. Barney already told her that he loves Robin. It wouldn't be too much to assume that as soon as she confronts him, he'll spill it all. So she resolves that in the morning, she'll find him. She'll go to his apartment and GNB to find and confront him.

* * *

After a quick stop by the bagel shop, she checks both places for Barney. She used her spare key at the apartment after he didn't answer when she knocked. He was nowhere to be found. Then, when she got to GNB, his secretary told her that he hadn't been there since he ran out last night unannounced. She could try the laser tag place, or the bar, but neither seems likely at this hour in the morning. Maybe she's just over thinking this. Maybe the answer is a whole lot simpler than she's considering. Maybe he's grown up more than she thought.

"I thought I might find you here," Lily mutters after finally finding him. Barney looks up from the incubator to see her across from him.

"Lily," he gasps. He's genuinely shocked to see her standing there. Shouldn't she be chasing after the rugrats in her class right about now?

She looks down at the baby and reaches in the incubator to touch her.

"She's got your eyes, you know."

He looks up at her so quickly with such raw emotion that the theory that she had is confirmed. There is no way in hell that he's not the father.

"How did you-?"

"I didn't," she says honestly, "but between what you told me when she left, the panic on your face this afternoon, and the look in your eyes when you saw her for the first time, it was pretty hard not to figure it out." She doesn't know if she's ever seen Barney this reserved. He just looks so normal.

"Do you think Ted...?" he asks, terrified of what the answer might be.

"No," she says succinctly. "I don't think we would be having this conversation if he did." He nods and looks back down at McKenna. He just can't seem to tear his eyes away from her.

"How long have you been here?" she asks, because right now, she's concerned for his well being. He looks like he hasn't slept in days.

"I don't know. Since last night," he answers, not once taking his eyes off of the miniature, sleeping figure.

"When was the last time you got something to eat or slept?"

"I don't know."

"Come on, let's go down and get something to eat in the cafeteria," she says, putting her hands on his shoulders to lead him. He looks up at her with sad eyes, clearly stating that he doesn't want to leave.

"She will be fine. It's only going to be for a couple of minutes." He nods and lets her lead him to the door.

* * *

"He's going to kill me," he laments after his first sip of coffee. She picked a table in the far corner of the cafeteria so he would feel comfortable talking.

"He's not going to kill you," she reassures him, because he won't kill him. Never speak to him again is another matter entirely.

"Yes he is Lily. The minute he finds out that she is mine, I'm dead."

"No he's not. I won't let him. I know it isn't going to be what he wants to hear, but I am not going to let him do anything to hurt you." At least physically, she says to herself.

"Thanks." Barney looks up at her with a weak smile, and she knows he means it, even if he can't quite wrap his brain around it all.

"So what are you planning to do?" she questions.

"I don't know," he sighs, a mixture of frustration and fatigue. "We haven't gotten to really talk about it. When I tried to last night, she wasn't ready to make any decisions."

"What do you want to do?" she asks bluntly.

"I don't know," he mutters.

"What is your gut telling you to do?"

"That I want to be there," he starts to spout. "I want to watch her grow up. I want to be there for the midnight feedings, for the skinned knees, for the dance recitals, for the hockey games. I don't want be the bastard my father was. I need to be there for her. I can't walk away from her. She's my daughter. I just can't take my eyes off of her. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"You've really grown up Barney," he looks at her, shocked once again this morning. "I'm proud of you. You're going to make a great dad."

"Thanks Lil," he sighs, "but what do I do about Ted?"

"I don't know. You are right though. He isn't going to be the best person to be around for a while. Why don't we get you back upstairs, and I'll go talk to Robin."

"I think that's a plan. Thanks for the coffee."

"Anytime Barney."

* * *

After she gets Barney resituated next to McKenna's bedside, she makes a direct line to Robin's room.

"Hey, how you feeling?" Lily asks as she walks in the door.

"Like crap," Robin mutters.

"Physically or emotionally?"

"Both. Is she ok?"

"She's just fine. Barney is with her."

"He is?" Robin asks, shocked not just because he's still there, but because Lily knows that he is. She's touched that Barney kept his promise.

"Yeah. He's been there all night. More importantly though, have you talked to Ted yet?" Lily interrogates, getting right down to business.

"No."

"When are you planning on telling him?" Lily asks accusingly.

"What would I be telling him exactly?" Robin questions, scared of what Lily's picked up on that she's getting the third degree.

"That Barney's the father." Bam. She hits her with what she'd been hoping to avoid.

"What?" Robin squeaks in a voice so high that only dogs can hear. "Lily, Barney's not-"

"Cut the crap, Robin. I know," Lily interrupts. Robin squeezes her eyes shut and lets her head hit the pillow propped behind her in defeat. There is no way she can lie her way out of this one anymore. "How could you? With Barney? I can understand you not being happy with Ted, and I can even understand your reasons for cheating on him. But with Barney? What the hell were you thinking?" she yells while Robin continues to cower in fear.

"I don't know," she rattles back, her head still back and her eyes still closed. It's almost as if it will all go away if she keeps her eyes closed, like when an ostrich sticks his head in the sand. "I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking. It just sort of happened."

"No. NO! Things do not just happen with Barney. Barney had this all planned out…"

"Lily stop!" Robin opens her eyes and shouts over her friend. "I can't do this right now. I had  _surgery_  yesterday. I almost  _died_. I need you to be my  _friend_ right now, not my mother," she groans in frustration. She's had enough of the verbal abuse. She knows she's going to get it from Ted. She doesn't need a prequel from Lily. "No, it wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done. Scratch that. It is probably the stupidest thing I've ever done, but I would go back and do it all over again, because I love him. I never loved Ted the way I love him, and it scares me so goddamn much," she says, her voice stumbling and cracking over the words as tears start to fill her eyes. "It's Barney. I would be stupid not to be scared. His history with women is atrocious. He's had one girlfriend in his entire life. I'm not even sure he can handle a relationship Lily. And on top of it, he asked me to move in with him last night."

"I take it you said no?"

"I didn't know what to say. I don't think there is any way I'm ready for a relationship right now. Especially not moving in together," Robin admits.

"Well, you can move in with us for a while once you bring her home."

"Thanks, but I don't think that's necessary. I think we will be ok on our own." She really appreciates the gesture, but now that she's here, she needs to do this on her own.

"Alright," Lily says, finally starting to calms down, "but if you change your mind…"

"Of course. But I think it would be better if I take Barney up on his offer."

"You've really changed, you know that?"

"Six months by yourself will do that," she chuckles sarcastically. She knows she's changed.

"If there is anything I learned from Argentina and Greece and Morocco and Japan and Russia, it's that I missed Barney. He was the first person that I thought about every morning, and the last person I thought about every night. Not Ted. Not the man I married. There were times I wanted to talk to Ted, but Barney was always the first person I would want to tell something to. Isn't that what I'm supposed to feel when I'm in love, and I want to make it work, because I really don't know anymore."

"He feels the same way about you," Lily reveals.

"He does?" she questions, shocked, unsure if she heard clearly. It definitely brings her a bit farther out of her drug-induced fog. It gives her hope for a future.

"Yes. He has for a while now."

"How do you know?"

"He told me."

"What?" she blurts out, entirely in shock. "How long ago?"

"The day you left."

"The day I left?! So you've known about us this whole time?"

"No. I swear I just found that out today," Lily stresses. "But he's been depressed and heartbroken the entire time you've been gone. He's done a good job trying to hide it from Marshall and Ted, but I could tell."

"Really?" She's lifted up with even more hope. That means that he's been pining over her the whole time. He wants her. He wasn't lying to her yesterday.

"Yeah. Listen, I'm not saying I approve of the affair, but there is something that tells me that this isn't a bad thing. It might take Ted a while to see it, but I think this is for the best. You have to promise me two things though."

"Ok?" Robin asks skeptically.

"One. You need to talk to Barney. You need to decide how this is all going to work out. How he is going to be involved in your life and in hers. And you have to give that little girl a name."

"Actually, we did last night."

"Really?" It's Lily's turn to be shocked.

"Yeah. McKenna Kate."

Lily says with a chuckle, while shaking her head, "Leave it to you two to name her after scotch. It does work well with Scherbatsky, though," she adds as a side note.

"She actually going to be Stinson," Robin corrects.

"Wow," Lily mutters. She's quite shocked that Robin agreed to that, but hey, who is she to judge. "Well all the more reason for my point number two. You need to talk to Ted. I know you'd rather talk to Barney about a relationship a hundred times over talking to Ted right now, but you need to do it. You need to tell him everything you told me today at lunch, and what you told me now. He needs to know. You can't keep Ted in the dark forever. He's going to find out soon enough and it's much better if he hears it from you than from someone else or god forbid, he figures it out. And yes, Ted is going to be angry. But he going to be even more angry if he finds out later, and knows that you have been keeping it from him for all that time. Besides, you aren't going to be able to hide those eyes forever."

"I know," Robin sighs.

"So. Do you promise?" Lily asks, handing Robin her phone with Ted's number up on the screen.

"Yes. I promise."

* * *

"Hey," Ted says quietly, walking in Robin's room. He doesn't know why she wants to see him again, but after the way he acted last night, he's not about to turn her down. He does want to be her friend.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry about yesterday," he apologizes.

"It's ok. You had every right to storm out."

"Still I didn't mean to cause you stress. That's the last thing you or her need right now."

"Thanks, Ted."

"How are you feeling?" he asks, now feeling a bit more conversational after being forgiven.

"Better. I've spent a lot of time downstairs." She spent most of the day in an uncomfortable hospital recliner while Barney went home to sleep. He was almost asleep when she got there, and he later admitted to pulling two all nighters in a row.

"How's she doing?"

"Okay. She's having a lot of trouble breathing, and she'll probably be on a ventilator and a feeding tube for at least the next month."

"I'm glad she's ok," he admits. He would have never been able to forgive himself if she wasn't.

"So tell me about your girlfriend," Robin asks, completely turning the conversation.

"You know?" he asks, surprised by her question.

"Yeah. Lily told me."

"Her name's Stella. She's a dermatologist in midtown. We've only been dating for about a month. She's got a nine year old though. I'm not sure how I feel about that," he admits.

"You're a natural dad. I wouldn't worry about it. If you think there is a future there, don't let the kid stand in the way."

"You're right. Thanks. And you're okay with this?"

"I left you," she says, shrugging her shoulders. "It would be incredibly rude of me to not be okay with it. " She hopes that her sentiment gains her some brownie points for the news she has to reveal later. He can deal with her answer. It's civil. It's they way he wants them to be.

"So, I don't think you called me for small talk. What's up?" he asks.

"I… um…" she stumbles, "I have to... um... talk to you about something." The nerves hit her worse than when she saw him for the first time, but she has to tell him. Lily's right. He needs to hear it from her before he figures it out. She needs to do this right now.

"What's that?" He has no idea what else she could possibly tell him. Is there more to the affair?

"I need to tell you who her father is."

"No," he interjects immediately. "I don't want to know." He doesn't want to know who the other man was. There's no point. He hasn't even been here to see the baby, he's checked. The only people that were signed into her room were the five of them. If he doesn't care that she was born, he obviously isn't going to be involved. Why does he need to know who the asshole is?

"I need you to know," she insists, sighing. It would be so easy to back out right now, but she's not going to.

"Why?" He wants to know why she needs to share this. He would rather stay in the dark, because if he knows, he doesn't know if he will be able to control himself.

"Because I don't want you to be more upset that I kept this from you."

"Why would I be upset?"

"Because you know him," she reveals. His brain automatically starts going through every man she had an interaction with in the last six months of their marriage. Her sleazy co-worker? The guy she thought was cute at the bar? Maybe even the guy at the architecture firm.

"It's the guy that used to live across from us," he blurts out. "That bastard!" he says under his breath.

"It's Barney," she blurts out, figuring it's better to rip off the band-aid than to continue this conversation.

"What?" He whips his head around to look back at her, almost as if she has two heads.

"It's Barney," she repeats nervously.

"Hahahahahaha!" His laughter billows and fills the room. This wasn't what she was expecting. This wasn't what she was expecting at all. She expected anger. She expected screaming, but he's still laughing. He's still laughing his damn head off. "Oh my god! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. If you were going to tell me, the least you could do is be serious." This is when she realizes he doesn't get it. It doesn't occur to him that it could actually be Barney. "Don't give me a heart attack thinking I might know this guy, and play a joke on me like this." "Ted," she says somberly.

"Come on!" he continues to rant. "Like I would actually believe that you could have a relationship with Barney."

"Ted." He finally hears her desperation, and it hits him that she's not kidding.

"Oh my god," he mutters. She slept with his best friend. "You're serious," he says a little louder. "You're fucking serious," he starts to shout. "You had sex with Barney? You cheated on me with Barney?!"

"It's not what it seems like," she argues, starting to get emotional. She can't help but crying.

"It's not what it seems like?" he shouts back. "My best friend, Robin! My best friend! Well not my best friend anymore! I could deal with you cheating on me," he snarls, "and I could even deal with the baby not being mine. But Barney? Barney? What the hell?! He seduced you didn't he? He trapped you!"

"No Ted. He didn't. It's not like that. It's not like that at all."

"Then what's it like?"

"I…" She can't come up with words, because there is no way that Ted would ever understand. "I…"

"No. You know what? I'm really done. This was the last straw. Consider me gone."

He storms out of the room. That was the reaction she was expecting, she thinks as she throws her head back against the pillow. It's going to be another long night.

* * *

He can't believe it, he thinks as he storms away from the hospital in complete anger. Not only did his wife betray him, but his best friend did too. With all that Barney's had to say about the Bro Code, he goes and does something like this. What kind of bro has an affair with his bro's wife? Not a bro. A bro doesn't do that. Not a true bro. He's a lying sex crazed bastard, that's what he is.

He checks his phone to take his mind off of the whole thing, and what does he see? A text from Marshall asking Ted to meet him and Barney at MacLaren's. Perfect. Just wait until he gets his hands on him. Barney isn't going to know what hit him. Literally.

* * *

Ted storms down the steps to MacLaren's and is across the room at their favorite booth before either Marshall or Barney notices he's there. He doesn't give either of them time to react to his presence before he lets his emotions take over. The sound of his fist hitting Barney's eye turns almost all of the attention in the bar directly on them.

"You bastard," he snarls at Barney. Barney can see by the way that Ted is staring daggers at him, he knows. He doesn't know how he knows, but he somehow knows.

"Ted!" Marshall shouts, completely confused as to what this is all about. "What the hell was that for?"

"He knows damn well what that was for and he is getting off easy," Ted growls, his voice seething in anger.

"Ted!" Marshall screams in an attempt to get Ted to stop and explain what the hell is going on.

"Do you want to tell him or should I?" Ted asks Barney. He stays quiet. He doesn't know what Ted knows, so not saying anything that could get him in more trouble is the best course of action, even if it means Ted punching him continuously for hours. Plus, he knows he deserves this from Ted. He stole his wife. He deserves every bit of abuse he is going to throw his way, no matter how much it hurts him.

Ted throws another punch, this time hitting the lower jaw.

"Ted!" Marshall screams. He's lost all semblance of control, and he doesn't want to be in the middle of whatever this is anymore.

"You know," Ted seers, "I always thought, 'Barney has another side. He's not just that guy that goes around and fucks women. There is a heart in there somewhere.' I always thought you knew where to draw the line."

"Ted, let me explain," Barney finally tries to speak up, to defend himself, because he's not that guy anymore. He hasn't been that guy for a long time. It's so much more than that.

"NO!" Ted screams, before his voice drops to a snarl. "For years you have been spouting off the fucking Bro Code. I guess you can't follow your own damn rules, huh?"

"Ted! Stop this!" Marshall interjects. "Whatever he did can't be that bad."

For the first time since he entered the bar, Ted turns his attention to Marshall. "Can't be that bad? Can't be that bad? You want to know what he did? He slept with my fucking wife, Marshall. He couldn't find enough sex elsewhere and had to sleep with my wife."

"Ted, I'm sorry, I…" Barney tries to explain.

"Shut up!" Ted snaps. "I trusted you. I thought you were my friend. You're a psychopath. I never should have trusted you around her."

"Ted, you need to stop," Marshall says, trying to stay calm, when in reality his head is spinning. Not only is Ted hurling some pretty degrading accusations, he realizes that Barney isn't denying them either.

"No Marshall," Ted answers. "How do you know he never slept with Lily?" It hits Marshall right where it hurts. He doesn't know. He has no idea. He's 99.9 percent sure that Lily wouldn't do such a thing, but he really doesn't know.

"I didn't I swear!" Barney shouts quickly to defend himself.

Ted sees the look on Marshall's face and utters, "I thought so."

"Ted! Why are you blaming this on him? Do you have any proof?" The lawyer side of Marshall asks. He doesn't need this to end happily, but now that he can sense all of the bar's eyes on them, he just wants this to end in neither one of them going to jail right now, because he doesn't really have the time to take on that case right now.

"I guess you haven't heard," Ted growls. "He's the father." It takes a few seconds for Marshall to process his words, but as soon as he does, his thoughts are interrupted by Carl.

"Get out!" he shouts, his accent thick as mud, while grabbing Ted by the arms and pulling him back. "All of you get out!"

"He's the one who should get out," Ted spats, before adding one final nail in the coffin. "Traitor."

"And you are the one throwing punches," Carl retorts. "Now get out and don't come back until you've resolved this. You too Marshall. All of you."

"But-" Barney tries to argue yet again.

"No, get out!"

"I don't ever want to see you again," Ted shouts as Carl escorts him out. "You're not my friend anymore, but I guess you never really were."

Barney slowly gets up from his seat, followed by Marshall. Barney somberly walks to the door, and from behind him, Marshall can see the bruises and cuts on his face from where Ted made contact. Marshall follows him to where he throws himself down on the stoop with a loud huff of air.

"What the hell Barney?" Marshall asks quietly, still trying to make sense of everything that just happened.

"I'm sorry," Barney utters, starting to choke up. He knew Ted was going to be harsh. He just wishes he had been a little more prepared for it.

"I don't think I'm sorry is going to cut it," Marshall says, sitting down next to Barney on the stoop.

"I love her Marshall. I love Robin," Barney admits quietly. He says it because Marshall needs to hear his side of the story, not just Ted's.

"You love her?" he questions. Coming from Barney, those words are monumental. Do they excuse what he did? No, but it certainly show Barney in a different light than Ted is willing to see.

"I do," Barney confirms.

"Wow," Marshall mutters. He sighs before he says "I'm not sure how I feel about all of this right now."

"I get it," Barney sighs. "You're going to side with Ted. That's fine," he huffs, getting up off of the stoop. "I'm just gonna go."

"Where are you going?"

"The hospital," he articulates. "There's no point in leaving her now. You all know. I'd rather be there anyway. Nothing else matters anymore," he says, before turning and walking down the street.

And as Marshall watches his slowly retreating figure, he can't help but think that maybe Ted's somehow got it all wrong. That man isn't missing his heart. He seems to have the biggest one of all, and it's been broken into a million and one pieces over the last 48 hours.


	9. Chapter 8- One Step Forward

 

It's been 8 hours. He's slept for a few, but he's stayed by McKenna's bedside as much as he could. He assumes that Robin's been resting, since he hasn't seen her at all since he came back from MacLaren's. He doesn't know what she's going to think when she finally makes her way down to NICU. He's sure his face must look like a horror film, and he's terrified what she's going to say to him, because he's gone and screwed everything up.

He sighs, wishing that the night had never happened, that he wouldn't have gotten punched by Ted, and that Robin would have agreed to move in with him. He can't say he blames her, though, she has no reason to trust him, every reason not to move in with him, and every reason not to start a relationship with him, but the thought of that just leaves him depressed. She seemed that she was interested earlier, before the birth, and now she's not. Her willfulness has gotten in the way as always. Really, it doesn't matter if he doesn't have Robin, because his little girl is in front of him and he could sit here forever, just to make sure she's okay. He can't take his hands off of her, slowly stroking her arm as she sleeps.

"Oh my god Barney! What happened?" He looks up to see Robin sitting in her wheel chair opposite of the incubator from him. He must have dozed off. He sighs, hesitant if he wants to share or not.

"Ted," he finally grumbles.

"Oh my god!" she exclaims. Really, her voice isn't loud, but compared to their normal whisper next to McKenna it seems like a boom. "He did this to you?!"

"Yeah," he mutters. He's not proud, and he's really not looking forward to what she's going to say next.

"He's an ass," she says scurrilously.

"He had every reason to punch my guts out," Barney derides. He really does believe that he deserved everything that Ted did. He knows that everything he did with Robin was wrong. He knows he is execrable to Ted. It's a wonder he didn't hurt her too. Her complicity was just as strong as his was, if not even more.

"No, Barney he didn't," she says in a somber, yet forceful tone. "I know what we did was wrong, and yes, he has a right to mad at us, but that doesn't give you the right to assault you." She wishes she could go beat up Ted right now, even though it's an aspersion to even think. What right does he really have to beat up Barney? He returns a somber look. "I know what you are thinking." She can see it on his face, he thinks he deserves it. He's depressed that Ted has deprecated him so much. "Does it really matter to you what Ted thinks?"

"Yeah," he mumbles, "it does." Ted's the only person he's ever considered as his best friend. His only bro. He meant everything in the world to him, and he had to go screw it up. He got himself into this plight.

"Well it shouldn't." She knows that if she doesn't get him out of this funk of everything revolving around Ted and trying to earn his forgiveness, there could be serious problems. There is no way to propitiate Ted's anger, and mixing Barney in with that could mean more serious injuries than he already has. "I know he was your best friend, but if that really mattered to you, you shouldn't have gone after me."

"I guess you're right," he reluctantly agrees, then adds accusingly as an afterthought, "You at least could have warned me you know."

"I'm sorry," she apologizes. "I didn't think he'd take it out on you like that." She didn't think he would do that at all. She's never known Ted to throw a punch at anyone. He's so anti violence that he wouldn't even go near her guns. "You know I've been thinking," she says, changing the conversation. "After you left, Lily came to see me."

"And?"

"She yelled at me," she says dejectedly.

"Oh." He should have been expecting that. Of course they would just chastise and ostracize them for doing what they did.

"But she got me thinking about two things." That line turns his head. Robin thinking? He doesn't know whether that's good or bad, and he looks at her expectantly, but nervous, waiting for her next thought. "One, that I should be honest with Ted, and two," she pauses, sighing, "I should be honest with myself about you." He eyes her hopefully yet again. "I need to take the leap. I want to accept your offer. I want to move in with you."

He feels like his heart skips eight beats at once. Everything he had been hoping for for the past twenty four hours is now coming true. Her volition is inexplicable.

"You do?" he asks, as giddy as a six year old.

"Yes," she sighs, still a little unsure of the decision, but knowing that she is making the right choice. It's not a choice she's making out of compliance. "I'm a little worried about it, but I seem to always be keeping myself from being happy. I can't be happy if we don't try."

He jumps up and runs around the incubator to give her a huge hug.

"I love you, Robin Scherbatsky."

"I love you, too," she returns, starting to tear up. "Great. Now I'm crying. Now you're going to want to back out. You must think I'm so lame."

"You may have been lame when you were sixteen and Robin Sparkles," he comforts, keeping his arm around her shoulder, "but you are definitely not lame now. You just had a baby cut out of you. I think you are allowed little bit of temporary unawesomeness until you recover." She giggles at that. She doesn't know what it is, but he always makes her feel better.

"Thanks Barney."

* * *

"Lily?" Marshall murmurs across the counter at breakfast.

"Hmm?" Lily answers, with a mouth full of oatmeal.

"We gonna talk about this?" he asks bluntly. He knows that she knows that the whole thing went on between Barney and Robin. She was acting weird all day yesterday.

"What's there to talk about?" she giggles briefly, knowing she's doing a horrible job of lying. Keeping secrets was never a tractable thing for her, and she has no idea how Marshall could know already.

"Barney and Robin," he says curtly. He doesn't want to avoid talking about this. He wants to know what she knows.

"Why should we talk about them?" she shies away again. "There's nothing going on there," she insists.

"Lily," he responds calmly and insistently. "I know. I was with Barney last night." She looks at him in shock. She can't imagine Barney bringing this up with Ted still not knowing yet.

"He told you!?" she exclaims.

"He didn't have to, Ted beating him up did it for him." Her eyes grow wide.

"Oh my god! Ted did that? Ted knows?!" She's shocked. Either Ted figured it out really quickly, or Robin really did listen to her advice. And if Robin really did listen to her advice, she can't help but think of how proud she is.

"Yeah," he answers. "Barney looked pretty beat up when he left the bar."

"What exactly happened?" she questions, because Ted she just can't see Ted going through with punching Barney, no matter what he did. There was always such a camaraderie there. But she guesses that if anything would take that away, finding out that your best friend slept with your wife would be it.

"Ted stormed in and started punching him and screaming," he explains. "He got us kicked out of MacLaren's. And Barney just sat there and took it." At the time, Marshall had been confused why Barney didn't fight back. Barney always fought back. But there was something about the way that he sat there and took what Ted was dishing out. Once the truth came out, he knew. He knew that Barney was guilty. But there was also something more to it. Like Barney was feeling a bit of remorse for what he had done. Like he knew what he did was horrible, and like he deserved it.

"Oh my god. Where did Barney go?" The whole thing just seems so outlandish to Lily. She still can't believe that Ted did this. She knew he would be angry, and she had brushed Barney off about him hurting him. But he did. Ted literally hurt Barney.

"He told me he was going back to the hospital." She's shocked by Ted's behavior, but not by Barney's, and he wonders how long has she known that Barney is the father. "Lily, How long have you known?"

"Just since yesterday. I figured it out by how they were acting, right around when Ted announced he wasn't the father." She sighs loudly before continuing. "I feel horrible. I kinda forced Robin to tell Ted." He can understand why she feels horrible. None of them could have expected that Ted would do that. He can completely commiserate. He doesn't know how to save their group from falling apart.

"Do you know what's the worst?" he adds. "I don't know who to side with. Yes, Barney and Robin were wrong, and they've wronged Ted, and I feel like I should support him. But I've never seen Barney like this. He's so somber and, how do I put it, adult-like. He cares so much. It's almost like he's a different person."

"I know," she agrees. "He was like that yesterday at the hospital. I had to basically drag him out of the NICU to get some food."

"So what do we do Lil?" he asks, because he's incredibly confused. They have the power to make or break the group. "Whose side should we be on?"

"No one's. We have to be on both sides," she answers confidently. "I know Ted might be a little hurt, but Barney and Robin need us a little more right now. They are going to need our help figuring everything out. They are the last two people I ever thought I'd see ever having a baby, yet here they are with one," she continues. "Besides, do you remember how terrified Robin used to be about babies? And not only does she have a baby now, she has a VERY premature baby. It's got to be terrifying. I don't know that we would even be ready for that. And I'm not saying that Ted's feelings are wrong, because they aren't at all, but he needs to move on. He's going to need our help in doing that. Maybe one day they can forgive each other." She surprised herself with how much she had to say, but she fully believes it. Marshall on the other hand, thinks that while it sounds like the truth, maybe it's not where their loyalties should lie.

"I don't know. This sounds like a bad idea Lil," he says, because he can see them staying friends with Barney and Robin backfiring very quickly with Ted.

"This will work. Trust me."

"I hope you're right."

* * *

"Ted! Thank god!" Stella exclaims, relieved when Ted finally answers the door to his apartment that afternoon. She hadn't heard from him in two days, and she had been extremely worried. They were supposed to meet a few nights ago, but she couldn't get a hold of him. She didn't mind the first day, but by the second day she was worried and angry. "Where the hell have you been?"

"I've been busy," he answers quickly. She was the last person he was expecting to see at the door. He should have realized it would be her, since he hasn't seen her in days. She really has every right to be mad and worried. He did just disappear. He couldn't help it though. The thought of calling her just didn't cross his mind in the past few days. There was so much going on, so much to think about, so much to deal with, so much to adjust to. And even if he wouldn't have been a horrible boyfriend and remembered to call her over the last few days, what would he have said? How exactly does one tell their girlfriend that they just spent the last few days in the hospital with their ex-wife who was having their ex-best friend's baby that she conceived when she was still married them? You don't. You don't share that kind of news over the phone. It's face to face news.

He steps aside for her to enter, and she quickly makes herself at home.

"Why couldn't you call me back?" She takes notice of the guilty look on his face. She can tell instantly that he is hiding something. "What aren't you telling me?" she asks instantly annoyed that something is going on and he is hiding it.

"Robin stopped by two nights ago," he admits. He doesn't know if it was a good idea to tell her, but he also knows that he shouldn't keep any secrets from her.

"Your EX, Robin?" she questions, highly perturbed that he would even consider seeing her. She decides that she needs to give him the benefit of the doubt for the accord of their relationship before she rips him a new one. Robin could have stopped by unannounced. It might not have been his fault at all.

"Yeah," he murmurs quietly. He feels guilty about it. There is no reason he should be guilty, but he feels so guilty. He feels like he's done something wrong and let her down.

"Oh god." She tries not to jump to conclusions, but with the sound in his voice and the guilt on his face, she can't help it. "Oh god you cheated on me?!"

"No!" he shouts. He doesn't want her to think that for a minute. That couldn't be farther from the truth. "No I didn't. Not at all."

"Then what happened? Why are you jumpy?" Stella demands to know.

"She showed up at my door wanting to talk to me and I yelled at her," he pauses, not sure if he really has to add the last part, "until I realized... I realized she was pregnant."

She looks up at him in immediate surprise. That was the last thing she expected to come out of his mouth. His ex-wife is pregnant. The woman he loved but ripped his heart out into a million tiny pieces is pregnant. And if she's there telling him she's pregnant, that can only mean one thing, and it's not good. It's not good at all.

"You're going to be a dad?" she manages to choke out, a million thoughts running through her head, including the thought that this might be the end of them.

"No," he sighs. "The baby's not mine. She ended up going into premature labor while she was here and she had an emergency c-section. I was at the hospital with her until the doctors did a paternity test and I found out that I wasn't the dad." She can see he's speaking woefully. She isn't sure what hurts him more, losing his wife again, or losing the opportunity to be a father. Regardless, she's quite fine with it. Either one would have been a roadblock to their relationship. But at the same time, she feels guilty for thinking that. He's obviously in worlds of pain right now.

"Wow," she manages to mumble. "That's a lot to process." And it is, she's still not quite through it all.

"That's not the worst part," he mumbles. Really, it's far from the worst part. He could stand her betrayal. He gets that she wasn't happy. And he's got Stella now, who he never would have met if it wasn't for their breakup. But the fact that the two of them betrayed him together, he can't stand it. It makes his blood boil just thinking about it.

"What's the worst part?" she asks, not sure how the situation could have hurt Ted any more than it already has.

"Barney's the father," he says quickly. He feels much more relieved now that it's out there.

"Barney? As in your best friend Barney?" she questions incredulously. She's entirely stumped by this turn of events. Ted nods his head somberly. She's shocked. She thought Barney was better than that. She knew what they all said about him, but he actually seemed to be a decent guy to her. He didn't seem to be the womanizer that they all made him out to be. He genuinely seemed like he was all one big facade, trying to pretend that he didn't care about the same things that the rest of them did. That he really was in love with a girl. There is no way he could have done something like this, in her mind anyway. But if he is the father, he has to be more evil than she thought. "I'm so sorry Ted."

"I just want to wring his neck," he starts to rant. "I don't know why I ever trusted him. If I see him ever again, he going to be in a lot worse shape this time," he shouts. She doesn't have a good feeling about this. The way he scorns, she has a feeling something happened that shouldn't have.

"Ted," she chastises. "What did you do?"

"Just gave him a couple of the many punches he deserved," he announces, his voice vitriolic.

"Ted!" she shouts at him immediately, because he just confirmed her biggest fear. He got into a fight with Barney. "You can't do that!"

"Why not?" he questions, confused as to why it's a big deal.

"Because it's illegal and a bad example for Lucy!" she argues. "She's ten, Ted! She's really impressionable!"

"What do you want me to say, Stella?" he shouts back. "That I shouldn't give him what he deserves?"

"NO," she answers firmly. "I'm saying that you should be a little bit more responsible when you do."

"It's not like you were there," he snaps back with vile. And she's done with this conversation. So she nails one final thought home, hoping that Ted can see the reasoning behind it.

"I don't have to be there. Don't do something stupid like that again."

* * *

They've been in the NICU together for hours, figuring out the details of moving in together. As soon as she's released, he'll help her sell her apartment. He'll hire movers for her stuff, and they'll go buy stuff for the baby and put it in the second bedroom that he's going to take his suits out of. And then soon, they'll bring McKenna home, and they'll be a family. It seems like such a grand plan for the two of them, but they've decided it's what they want.

But even as they happily discuss their future, there is an undercurrent of a sadness, loneliness that neither of them has the willingness to acknowledge.

Robin sighs loudly, drawing his attention up from McKenna to look at her.

"What?" he questions, knowing something's wrong.

"I don't know," she sighs yet again, having no idea how to express the multitude of thoughts and fears running through her head. Sitting here in front of McKenna for a while made her realize that she actually has a child now. It's been the overwhelming theme of her thoughts for the past few hours. "I have no idea how to be a parent," she blurts out.

"And the people that we know that would be great parents aren't speaking to us because we in fact have a baby," Barney adds quickly. It's as if he can read her mind. He's been thinking it too. They have no idea how to be parents. Neither one of them had great examples growing up like the rest of the people they know did. How the hell they are supposed to do this without advice from Lily and Marshall, he has no idea.

"Yeah," Robin agrees. He's almost directly read her thoughts. "That's exactly it."

They both stare down at McKenna for a few seconds, once again ignoring the horrible feeling they both have in the pit of their stomach. They watch her as she moves her arms, before Barney breaks the silence.

"Do you think they are ever going to speak to us again?"

"I don't know," she sighs. "Lily, maybe. She seemed like she was going to come back, but once she talks to Marshall that will probably all change. They've been friends with Ted much longer. They are going to have to side with him." As much as he doesn't want to agree with her, he knows she is right. They always seem to side with Ted, and he guesses he can't blame them, after all, he is just a big screw-up. "We can do this without them," he announces, almost a little too confidently, trying to talk himself into awesomeness. "We can. Don't worry about it. I can call my mom and she can help us out. We'll be fine."

"We'll be fine," she replicates. All she can think is that she hopes he's right.

* * *

"Hey guys, you up for visitor?" Marshall asks, suddenly appearing in the NICU. Barney and Robin had both been sitting in silence, staring at the incubator, neither one willing to speak anymore.

They both glance up in shock, almost startled, and it's such a surprise to see anyone there that Marshall and Lily can read it on their faces.

"I take it you didn't expect to see us?" Lily assumes. She tries not to gasp at Barney's face. She has to agree with Marshall. Ted really did a number on him.

"Not at all," Robin answers, still unsure that she isn't hallucinating.

"What are you doing here?" Barney asks them.

"We came to see if you needed anything, and we wanted to see how you are all doing," Lily replies. Just looking at their faces, she knows that they made the right decision to come here today. They really look like they can use their friends.

"We're good now," Robin smiles.

"Guys, we are still going to be here for you," Lily explains, sensing their thoughts of abandonment. "We can't take sides. You are all our friends."

"Thanks," Robin says, starting to tear up.

"Do you guys need a break?" Marshall offers. He can't imagine how long they've been here for. "Maybe get some food or coffee or something?"

"Nah," Barney answers, "the nurses brought us something a while ago."

"Mind if we pull up two chairs then?" Marshall asks.

"Not at all," Barney answers. Frankly, he's glad to have them there, and he's sure Robin is too. He doesn't want to admit it, but they were both incredibly scared about what would happen to them if they didn't have the Erikson's support in this.

"She looks different already," Lily comments. She knows it's only been a day, but she already seems to have grown.

"Really?" Robin questions, wrinkling her nose. She can't imagine McKenna looking that different in just a few hours.

"Yeah," Marshall adds, "I think she grew." Changing the subject, he asks, "so McKenna Kate?"

"Yep," Barney confirms.

"After the Scotch?" Marshall questions.

"Yes and no," Robin confirms. "I fell in love with the name in Greece. I befriended a girl studying abroad with the name. It just happened to be that the scotch was an added coincidence." Barney's heart is warmed by the story. He knows it means more to Robin now.

"And Kate's for her sister," Barney adds.

"That was Barney's idea," Robin nods her head toward him. She reaches in to stroke McKenna's body, and Barney moves aside so Lily can do the same.

"I can't believe you two have a baby," Lily mutters. It's only been three days since they found Robin was going to be a mother, and less than twenty four that Barney is a father. It's all still very new for Lily. They are welcoming this new life, this unexpected new life into their group.

"Yeah," Robin agrees.

"How soon are you getting released?" Marshall asks.

"Maybe a day or two," Robin answers nervously. She knows that when she does go home, it's going to be different. Very, very different. Home is never going to have the same meaning.

"Well, you can come stay with us, we don't want you to have to be by yourself," Lily offers. She knows what Robin must be going through, and she's still recuperating from surgery. She can't be by herself yet. Plus, who knows if she's going to want to go to live in the apartment she shared with Ted.

Robin is thrilled by the offer. It's wonderfully sweet that they are being so accommodating, but she'd rather be with Barney. It's how she knows that she really wants to live with him. But she's not sure it's time to share their plans yet, because she's really now ready for the condescendence yet.

"You don't need to-" Robin brushes off.

"It wouldn't be an imposition," Marshall interrupts. He doesn't want Robin to shy away. They would do anything they can to help out Barney and Robin.

"That's not it," Robin sighs. She eyes Barney, asking for permission before she continues, and he nods in acknowledgement. "I'm moving in with Barney."

"Wow," Lily mutters, absolutely shocked. Even though she knew that Barney asked, Robin seemed so against it that she never expected it to happen.

"That's a pretty big step guys," Marshall mutters at the same time as Lily's wow. He doesn't know what to think about everything that has happened in the past few days. It all seems like some very bizarre dream.

"Yeah, it is a big step," Barney answers confidently, smiling at Robin, "but we think it's an important one, especially for her," he says while nodding at the baby.

"Well, congrats then," Marshall says. He's happy for them. If this is what they want, he's happy. He can't help but think that they really do seem so grown up. "If you need any help, let us know." Lily nods her head in agreement.

"Thanks guys," Barney answers. "You have no idea how much that helps."

* * *

They've talked about things for a while, passing time like they used to at the bar. They had a lot to catch up on, since most of the time they had spent together in the days since Robin's return had been spent taking care of the more important details. Robin shared stories about her travels. Lily shared stories about her kindergarteners. Barney shared the story about how Marshall forgot his pants at work, and was too afraid to read a magazine. They continued to catch up until they were interrupted by Marshall's phone.

"Hey dude," he says, picking up the phone. 'It's Ted,' he mouths. The rest of them look at each other in horror. It's like they've all been caught red handed.

"Yeah, we're just at home relaxing," Marshall lies, the tone of his voice no way matching the image of his face. "Why?"

They all look at each other, wondering what Ted could possibly want.

"Oh," he mutters into the phone. "Yeah, we can meet you there. Can you give us 45 minutes?" He pauses, waiting for Ted to speak. "Alright see you then."

"He wants you to meet him?" Barney asks.

"Yeah, at MacLaren's," Marshall utters. "You don't mind that I didn't tell him we were here, do you?"

"Nah, that's fine," Barney agrees. He knows what Marshall did was for the best. Because he really does care for Ted, and Ted needs them too. "We don't really want to get in the way of you and him."

"You guys will never get in the way," Lily says speaking for the both of them. "You're our friends. Always."

* * *

"Hey guys! You're here!" Ted shouts from the booth as soon as he sees Marshall and Lily enter.

"You're looking much cheerier than last night," Marshall comments. "How did you get Carl to let us back in here?"

"Stella here explained to him that there will be no more confrontations," Ted declares.

"And there won't be," Stella growls, glaring directly at him. He is too involved in Marshall and Lily to notice. "Anywhere."

"Right," Ted confirms quickly. "So how are you guys?"

"Okay. It's been a long day," Lily sighs.

"Yeah. Really long day," Marshall agrees.

"What did you do today?" Lily asks, changing the subject. She doesn't want Ted to even suspect where they were or what they did this afternoon.

"Oh, we just got caught up about the last few days," Stella answers, slightly annoyed that not only has Ted been missing, but that he had to go on and on earlier about his ex-wife.

"Oh," Marshall mutters.

"I still can't believe it," Ted muses. "She cheated on me with Barney." He misses that everyone at the table rolls their eyes. "Barney of all people. I guess I shouldn't be that surprised." They all notice that he is relatively calm. "He would find a way to steal anything I've ever had. He wormed his way into my life. What's a little more right?" he jokes. Lily and Marshall start to notice how annoyed Stella is becoming. "I'm gonna go see what's taking our drinks so long," Ted announces before getting up to walk to the bar.

"I'll join you," Marshall quickly adds, jumping up.

"So how are you taking this?" Lily asks Stella when they are safely alone.

"It doesn't bother me except for the fact that it seems to bother him too much. He doesn't stop talking about it," Stella answers. "How about you?" she asks back. "They were your friends too."

"Uh, yeah. It's kinda sad. I guess," Lily mumbles, hoping she is being convincing in the fact that they aren't her friends anymore.

"Well, I don't know how I would feel if I lost two of my friends," Stella commends. "I've got to give it to you for being so calm."

"Yeah..." Lily trails off. "It will be hard, but we'll get through it."

Meanwhile, Marshall chastises Ted at the bar.

"Ted, I think you better cool it back there."

"What do you mean?" Ted asks, completely unaware of the situation.

"Well, Stella seems to be getting a little bit irritated," Marshall points out. "Maybe you shouldn't talk about it anymore. Maybe you should let it go, bud."

"There's really no reason for me to let it go," Ted says, annoyed that Marshall would even suggest such a thing. "They made their choice, I can't change it, but they can be out of my life for good." Marshall doesn't know if that declaration is a good or a bad thing.

"Here you go guys," Carl says as he places their drinks on the bar. They grab the drinks and head back to the booth.

"So like I was saying, I can't believe it. That asshole stole my wife away from me," Ted rants. Stella rolls her eyes, and Marshall and Lily start to get incredibly uncomfortable at Ted's behavior. "Well, I wish them luck with that baby," Ted spits. "Really. They are going to need it."

"Uh, Ted..." Marshall tries to distract him, to get him to stop.

"No. They can get what's coming to them," he starts to shout. "They cheated. Robin is just going to get an asshole who is going to cheat on her again."

Everyone is starting to get irritated by his outlandish behavior when Stella's phone rings. She quickly checks the caller ID and takes the call immediately. The conversation is short, she barely says anything until she hangs up.

"Uh, we need to go," Stella murmurs. "That was Tony."

"But we just got here," Ted whines.

"Ted, now," she demands.

"Good night, guys," Ted says reluctantly, getting up.

"Good night," Marshall and Lily chorus as Stella and Ted walk urgently towards the door.

"Well, that was weird," Marshall says.

"Yeah," Lily agrees. "Really weird."

* * *

"I thought Tony called," Ted implies once he and Stella are upstairs. He's not happy that he pulled her out of the bar, and now they are upstairs.

"He did. He just wanted to tell me that Lucy fell asleep early," Stella replies, shrugging her shoulders and crashing on the couch. She just needed get him out of there. Tony's phone call just came at the perfect time.

"Then why did we have to leave?" he questions.

"Why? Because I was tired of seeing you act like that in public!" she responds with a shout. God, she is so angry. "Why are you so obsessed over this?"

"I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!" she argues. "She's your ex-wife Ted. EX. She cheated on you!" She's beyond angry that they are even still talking about this. "Why you even still worry about her is beyond me. You have to let this go! It's not your baby. Grow up and get over it!"

"But…" he tries to argue.

"No Ted. I'm done," she says angrily.

"What?" he asks.

"I'm going home."

"No! Don't leave," he pleads. He knows that now, he's really fucked it all up. She is completely serious over the fact that this bothers her, and he doesn't know how to fix it.

"Bye, Ted," she says sadly, almost in tears over the fact that he is being such a jackass. She closes the door behind her and collapses against it in tears. She pulls out her phone, and makes the only call she can think of.

"Hey Tony. Would it be okay if I came over?"

* * *

Robin left hours ago, and Barney is now asleep in a recliner next to McKenna. But suddenly, he jarred out of his sleep. Something's not right. He can sense it immediately. It's loud. Alarms are going off, and there are doctors surrounding McKenna. He's so close but so far away. He tries to get close, but all they do is yell at him to stay back. He can't even find out what's wrong.

He just knows there's nothing he can do to help his daughter. It's all in their hands.


	10. Chapter 9- Flashes of Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm terribly disappointed that I even have to write this authors note. I will be talking about the finale in the next few paragraphs, because I need to address it. So for those of you that have not seen the finale yet or do not wish to see my opinion, skip right ahead to the chapter at the end of this paragraph. But I wanted to let you all know that I will be continuing with all of my stories, and even a few more that I have ideas for that haven't been started. I need them to move on as much as you do. Also, I'm sorry I've been absent lately. I am still working through things with my house.
> 
> As for the finale- (spoilers ahead)- I don't know what possessed them to write the finale in that direction. It's almost been 24 hours now, and I still can't process it. I didn't sleep last night, and I really haven't eaten much today because I am that upset. I know I shouldn't let it get to me that way, but it does.
> 
> Frankly, I'm not sure what disappointed me the most: the divorce, the death of the mother, or the fact that Ted and Robin were the plan all along. I think I could have even dealt with the divorce if it wasn't for the ending, because I still feel that Barney and Robin are perfect for each other. But the way they went about writing it to make it all work was what was worst for me. Everything they have said in the past six seasons contradicts with everything they did last night. Everything. There is no way that they Barney they've developed would have gone back to the endless parade of women like that. And there is no way that they wouldn't have enjoyed traveling together. And the way Ted said Robin was never alone at the end of symphony of illumination- she most certainly was. She seemed like she never even saw the group after 2016. Penny didn't even know who she was. And Ted would have never waited that long to get married. The Ted we've been watching for the past 9 years would have never done things out of order like that. Marriage was the first thing on his agenda. It would have been more realistic if they had eloped when she found out she was pregnant.
> 
> So for me, I think I could have dealt with the story lines, had they not developed the series as is. Had they had this ending in 2009, I think it would have worked well. But they changed their vision too damn much to write the ending the same way. And it depresses me that they think it worked and that we would all like it. I would have much rather ended last season, then devote an entire season to showing that Barney and Robin are meant to get married, and that Ted and the mother (excuse me, Tracy. That's going to take some getting used to) are perfect for each other, when they didn't mean for things to end up that way. It makes me sad that I wish that Barney had married Quinn instead. But regardless, I am refusing to believe that that ending was anything other than a crackfic, because the two contradict each other so much. I am going to be writing most of my stories now as if most of the finale didn't even happen, because it is the only way I can make some of my stories work. Besides, as Marshall said, it doesn't really matter all that much about last words.

 

"Ughhh," Barney groans from behind his desk. All he wants to do is get to the hospital to spend some time with Robin and McKenna. Even worse, McKenna turns a month old today, and he can't even celebrate the occasion. Instead he's stuck here at work, waiting for his last meeting of the day.

A lot had happened in four weeks since McKenna's birth. He remembers those days like they were yesterday. Robin returning, finding out about McKenna's birth, Ted punching him; they were all still so real to him. But the worst by far was when he was in the room alone when McKenna almost didn't make it. Being in the room at that moment was the worst moment of his life, knowing he was helpless where his daughter was concerned.

It turned out not to be as scary as it seemed initially. She had had an episode of apnea, where she stopped breathing for a bit. He found out later that it is common condition in premature infants, but no one had warned them. The alarms were just alerting the nurses she wasn't breathing, but they had problems getting her to start again, which meant a frantic few minutes.

But now, every day, she keeps getting better and better. McKenna has been a fighter. She had grown so much already. She had almost doubled her weight in the last two weeks. But he owed that to Robin. She was entirely focused on the baby, and had spent a lot of her time that she wasn't with the baby, researching everything there was to know about premature infants and how to care for them, because she no longer trusted the doctors. Especially not after that terrifying night. She wasn't even there, but she said that Barney's account of the incident was all she needed to know.

Ironically, a great deal of what Robin had found entirely counteracted most of the advice the doctors at the hospital had given them. The biggest though, was that even preemies need to be held. They need to be skin to skin with their parents. They had been told that taking her out of the incubator would expose her to infections, hinder her breathing, and slow her development, but Robin's research, which included evidence from some fairly important medical organizations, proved otherwise.

So within a day of McKenna's close call, Robin demanded that they be able to hold her for extended periods of time.

The change was incredible.

Within a few hours, she was feeding on her own. Within two days, her heart rate was stronger. Within a week, all of the infections she had experienced in the first week were gone, and she hadn't gotten any since. Within two weeks, she had fallen into a regular sleep patterns. She had defied all of the expectations that the doctors had given her. But of course she had. She was the product of awesome.

But the first time he held her, at three days old, topped her birth for the most amazing experience of his life.

* * *

_Four Weeks Earlier_

He never ceased to be amazed by Robin. She had just spent the last ten minutes arguing with the pediatrician currently in the NICU, demanding that they let her hold McKenna. There was no doubt in his mind that even though this strong independent woman in front of him never wanted to become a mother, she was going to be a grizzly bear when it came to their baby. Nothing and no one was going to stand in her way, especially a doctor.

She had finally gotten the doctor to agree that it wasn't going to hurt the baby, that it was done in the rest of the world, and that just because it wasn't hospital policy, didn't mean that they shouldn't try it. The talk, led to them signing what seemed like a novel of paperwork to release liability from the doctors and nurses, and the notion that maybe, they weren't doing the right thing. He knows though, that Robin wouldn't do anything to harm their baby, the baby he only knew was his for just a few short days.

But now, they are standing over the incubator, waiting for the nurse to open it up so that they could hold her for the first time. The thought of holding her terrifies him, because she is so tiny. He can see in Robin's eyes that she's thinking the same thing. As much as they may want to do this, the thought of actually doing it makes him want to hurl. He's so worried that he's going to hurt her. Her arms and her legs are like toothpicks, that look like they could easily break. He's not sure how to even pick her up.

"We're making the right decision here right?" he questions, because even though this seems like the right thing to do, he can't help but be nervous, to look for any reason to back out.

"Yeah," she mutters. "We have to hold her sometime right?"

"Yeah," he mumbles in reply. He can hear that maybe he isn't the only one having second thoughts about holding her. "You're nervous too?"

"Incredibly," she admits. "I've never held a baby before. I know it's what's good for her, but I'm still crazy nervous." He smirks. He's really glad he's not the only one. "What if I break her?" she asks, slightly embarrassed by the idea that she knows nothing about babies. She thinks that maybe it's a good idea that she was born premature. At least this way, they didn't get thrown to the wolves after just a few days. It will be months before the will need to care for her on their own.

"Don't worry about it. She's more resilient than you realize," the nurse comments from the other side of the room. Robin tries to keep the blush from her cheeks.

"So I won't break her?" she asks in embarrassment.

"No," the nurse comforts. "You won't break her."

Robin breathes a sigh of relief. It doesn't calm her nerves as much as she would have hoped, but it helps a bit. She's about to hold her first baby ever, and it's hers. Even though it had been three days, it still hasn't sunk in that this tiny being belonged to her.

The nurse then instructs Robin to sit in the chair next to the incubator and open her shirt. She picks up McKenna, cradling her in hands, and walks her the short distance to Robin. The baby is so small, she fits comfortably in the nurse's hands.

"Here." The nurse says. She places the baby on Robin's chest, and wraps a blanket tightly around them to hold her in place.

She doesn't feel any different. She's holding her baby now, and she still loves her just as much as she did. It doesn't feel scary, or wonderful, or overwhelming. It just feels peaceful, almost normal.

"I wish I had a better camera than my phone right now," Barney laments.

"Just take one," she coos soothingly as to not disturb the baby, but he can tell she's glaring at him.

Barney thought she seemed small in the incubator, but she seems even smaller now that she is against Robin's skin. He pulls out his phone, and takes a picture of Robin smiling, and gently rubbing McKenna's back. He notices just how peaceful they look together. He hopes that he gets to experience the same feeling.

"Her breathing seems stronger already," she observes.

"That's great," he replies offhandedly. He's distracted, thinking about this moment and what it means for them.

"What's up?" she questions. She can already sense that something isn't right with him.

"I don't know," he sighs. "I mean, I'm glad we are finally holding her, I just can't shake that something is wrong. Like we shouldn't be here alone or that we are making a mistake."

"Barney," she admonishes. "This is about us bonding as a family and helping our little girl get stronger. This moment is just for the three of us."

"Okay," he sighs. "Okay." Her comment doesn't turn off the bad feeling, and much as he wishes it would.

It seems like an eternity to Barney until it's his turn to hold the baby, and the longer Robin holds her, the worse his nerves seem to get.

When it finally is his turn, he's so nervous, his hands are shaking and he can barely unknot his tie and unbutton his shirt. He watches nervously as the nurse moves McKenna from Robin. He's so nervous that he doesn't even realize that the absence of the baby has left Robin's chest exposed.

The moment the nurse finally places McKenna on his chest, everything changes. His shaking stops, his nervousness ends, and a calmness overtakes every sense of him. She's not much bigger than his hand, and now that she's so close, the multitude of how small she is finally kicks in. Just her little bit of body heat does something in his chest that he never felt before: an overwhelming love. How could anyone possibly leave a baby like this, after feeling this feeling? How could his own father leave a baby like this? And in that moment, he promises himself something. No matter what happens with Robin, no matter what she says to him or does to him, or how much she tries to keep him away, he is never, ever leaving this little girl. There will always be a place for her in his life. Nothing is going to stand in his way of being the dad she needs.

* * *

The day after, Robin was released from the hospital. It started the transition in his life from basically living in the hospital, to splitting his time between Robin and the baby.

He had been so nervous at the time, to have Robin living with him. But he wanted to move in with her, even though it meant giving up his old life. He was fine with that.

The day of her release was still nerve wracking. Neither one of them wanted to be away from McKenna, especially since they had just started holding her. One of them had always been by her side since her birth. But they both knew it was important for Robin to get away from the hospital and start getting a good night's sleep, for McKenna's benefit, and for her own. She was still recovering too. On top of it, he would have to go back to work sometime. He couldn't stay at the hospital with her for the next ten weeks.

They had decided right after McKenna's birth that home would be Barney's apartment, but on the day of her release, everything was as it always had been. The fortress was still the ever present bachelor pad, and Robin still had a lease on the apartment she shared with Ted. It wasn't even on their radar to think about moving. McKenna was all that they cared about.

So the two of them left the hospital as a couple for the first time, never mind a couple living together, and came home alone to the bachelor pad that he left, single and childless only a few days before.

He remembers how much Robin had been uncomfortable by being there at first. He couldn't blame her, nothing she owned was there, and he hadn't had the time to make his place feel less like the unwelcoming bachelor pad it still was. He still only had one pillow and small blanket. He knew that he had to get the place ready for her, pronto, but she needed her rest first. So he gave up his pillow and his blanket and made her comfortable in his bed, while he called in reinforcements.

Lily and Marshall were more than happy to help. Lily was at the fortress within minutes to help them. And as soon as she came, she left again, with Barney's credit card to buy anything and anything that she thought was necessary. She came back with what he thought was too many bags, but she insisted they needed everything, including a new bedspread, new sheets, and plenty of pillows. She set out right away to replace everything.

He noticed as she was working, that the things she bought and changed were not at all unlike those things they bought when she had lived with him for those few weeks. In just a few short hours, she had made their, apartment more like a place that Robin would live.

Over the next few days after her release, the two of them took shifts between spending time with McKenna, and prepping for Robin to move in. Marshall and Lily helped Robin pack up her apartment, since she couldn't do any heavy lifting due to recovering from the surgery, while he was at the hospital. Then they would switch, and he would come back to their apartment to make room for her stuff and for McKenna to come home, and she would head to the hospital with Lily.

It took a total of two weeks for Robin and Lily to pack up the old apartment, and for him to clean out his suit room to make room for both of them.

They spent their little bit of free time in the next week shopping for baby things. Crib, clothes, toys, everything that they could possibly need, they bought. They bought so much, he wasn't sure how they were going to fit everything in the nursery. But they managed, again, with Lily's help. Lily set everything up, and put everything away, so he could start going back to work, and Robin could spend more time at the hospital.

So of course, he was now stuck here at work, wanting to be anywhere but here. He was partially jealous of Robin. She had quit her job when she left for those horrible months, and they had decided, for the time being, that it was best if she would not look for another for the time being. It would give her time to settle into being a mom, without having to worry about a job. He has more than enough money to take care of them all for a few months. Someday, Robin would want to go back to her career, and he didn't mind, but for now, it was best for her to be with McKenna. He still can't help but be jealous.

He just wants to go home, to go to the hospital. All he can think about is his baby girl. All he can hope is that these Chinese dignitaries are faster in a meeting than the Koreans.

* * *

The last month had been yet another life changing month for Ted. He never realized how much being friends with Barney drug down his goals for life. He was past the age of wanting to be single, past the age of wanting to sleep with single women, and living his life as a bachelor. He never wanted that. For god sakes, he's divorced because of Barney. Barney stood for the opposite of everything he wanted in his life. Being away from him this month felt freeing. He could finally move on, and be a different person.

He felt he had been moving on with Stella. Their relationship progressed even more than he thought was possible. Just four months into their relationship, he was already a huge part of her life, and the life of Lucy, her daughter. They spent time together as a family. He loved everything about Stella, and he never once questioned his feelings for her, or the speed of their relationship.

Then one day, it all came crashing down, all thanks to Barney, yet again.

"So, my sister broke up with her boyfriend," Stella announces one day at brunch.

"Well, I can finally say it. I hated that guy!" Ted declares. "Everything out of his mouth is- I'm a vegan. Fish feel pain. I'm never constipated," he mocks. "That guy's an idiot."

"Actually, she's marrying him," Stella adds. "I just wanted your honest opinion."

"He's actually a really nice guy," Ted grimaces, changing his story. "I think there's a wisdom to-" Stella interrupts him with a chortle.

"Anyway, they picked a date, so, uh, you want to come with me so that we can laugh our asses off as we watch him walk barefoot down the aisle in a hemp tuxedo?" she asks, joking with him.

"Yeah, sure," Ted agrees happily. "When is it?"

"Uh, first weekend in May."

Ted's face falls immediately. First week in May? That's almost twice as far away as they've been together. The panic starts to set in. May. Okay. May. What if they aren't together in May? What if they break up?

"Oh, that sounds like so much fun," he answers, almost begrudgingly, trying to keep his true feelings inside.

"Mmm."

"So I get to look forward to it for six months," he continues. "Which is twice as long as we've been dating. I'm sure your daughter Lucy will come so it'll be like a-a family trip," he stutters. "Our first trip as our funny little family. So that- that'll be super-exciting." All he can think is that he wants to kill Barney even more. After all, he wouldn't be panicking about this if it wasn't for Barney's stupid date-time continuum theory. "Man, they crank up the heat in these places," he adds, trying to get himself off the hook, while shaking his shirt.

"What's going on, Ted?" Stella questions. She can see the panic and fear behind this. She has no idea why this of all things would bother him.

"We need to talk," he utters. He can't believe he's losing another girl to Barney.

"Talk about what?" she asks skeptically.

"Isn't it a little too soon to be thinking about May?"

"Ted…"

"I'm only trying to be honest with you," he says sullenly.

"You know what Ted? I have to go to work," she responds, almost calmly, before standing up.

"Stella, can we just- I don't want to leave it like this," Ted protests.

"No, Ted, it's okay. We're good."

* * *

"So you broke up with her?" Lily questions, stunned as Ted finishes retelling the tale of his morning to her and Marshall. She had been in her apartment getting ready to head into work for the day to catch up on some things in her classroom, and Marshall had been ready to play some guitar hero. Of course, everything stopped for both of them as soon as Ted came bursting in the door.

"Yeah I did," Ted sighs. He really wanted things to work out with Stella. He really did. "I'm not ready for things to get that serious. I mean I just got a divorce. Things are moving too fast."

Lily and Marshall share a look, telepathically knowing what the other is thinking. Stella was good for him. Better than any other girl he dated. Better than Robin. Why did Ted have to ruin it all yet again?

"Look, I know it sounds rough, but Stella's a mom. I have to be responsible," Ted tries to convince them. "If I'm having these feelings now, what if they don't go away? What if they just get worse and worse and six months from now, I break up with her over tofu salmon at her sister's wedding? I can't do that to her. And I definitely can't do that to her daughter. It sucks, but I'm being the good guy here," he pauses, letting it sink in for the both of them. "This is the right decision."

"Well, I'm sorry Ted," Marshall offers.

"Yeah, I'm sorry too," Lily agrees.

"It just wasn't meant to be," he answers solemnly. He pauses for a moment and thinks about it, and realizes he's single yet again. "Damn it, why another relationship?" he shouts, already moving on to the anger stage of grief.

"I'm gonna go get you a beer," Marshall offers and heads to the kitchen, leaving Ted alone with Lily.

Ted leans back on the couch with a huff covering his face with his hands when Lily's phone brings him out of his misery. She glances at it quickly and silences it immediately. There is no way she wants Ted to see it.

"Who is it?" Ted interrogates.

"No one…" Lily answers guiltily.

Ted looks at her in confusion and skepticism. There is something wrong with the way she is acting. She's being cagey, and he doesn't like it. He realizes it's because she's hiding something from him. She's keeping a secret, and he actually has no idea what it could be. But now the cat's out of the bag, and he needs to know.

"You're lying to me," he accuses.

"No, I'm not," she lies, her voice cracking.

"Yes you are. Give me the phone," he demands.

"No," she replies, hiding the phone behind her back.

"Give me the phone!" he shouts, diving towards her to wrestle it away from her. She tries to push him off, but it doesn't work, and he ends up grabbing the phone and hoisting it in the air in victory.

His victory is short lived though, because the second he looks at it his heart sinks. He knows exactly why Lily didn't want to tell him.

"Robin," he mutters.

His friends betrayed him.

Lily looks down at the floor in guilt.

"You've been talking to Robin?" he accuses with rancor.

"No," she flat out lies. The squeak in her voice gives it away.

"Oh my god you have! You've been talking to them!" he shouts. He's so angry. Why would his friends betray him like this? Why did all the friends he's ever had have to betray him? Why couldn't they see Barney and Robin for the scum they were?

"No…" she denies yet again.

"Stop lying Lily," he demands. He doesn't want to hear any more lies. He just wants to know why. "Just answer me one question. Why?"

"Because they are our friends and need our help too," she shouts at him. He wasn't expecting such a strong reaction. He was expecting her to admit she was wrong. But if she wants to turn this into an argument, he can turn this into an argument.

"After the way they treated me, you still think you should still be friends with them?"

"They made a mistake Ted!"

"They did what they did on purpose," he screams. "I thought I was clear. It's either me or them."

"Ted-"

"No! It's me," he yells, gesturing wildly, "or them!"

"What the hell is going on in here?" Marshall asks, halting the argument mid-sentence as he rushes back in the living room.

"I thought I told you I didn't want you to be friends with Barney and Robin and you did it anyway," Ted accuses Marshall. "You need to choose. Both of you. Me or them."

Marshall gives Lily a look, and they decide telepathically what they need to do.

"Them," Marshall utters sadly.

Ted turns towards the door, without saying a word, and storms out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. He's done.

* * *

He runs out the door and down the stairs, hailing the first taxi that comes his way.

He's so angry at Lily and Marshall, but he's also annoyed at himself. He lost Stella and Lily and Marshall all in the same day. Why did he chase Stella if he didn't want a serious relationship? It's not like he needed her. Plus, she had a child. He doesn't need that in his life right now. It reminds him too much of Robin. He wonders how they're doing, if they are failing yet. He almost wants to know, just so he can laugh. To delight in their failings would be amazing after what they did. If only Marshall and Lily weren't on their side.

And now he's more frustrated. Traffic is stopped and all he wants to do is get away and go get drunk. He just wants to forget.

He checks his watch and taps his foot impatiently. He even considers getting out of the cab and walking to another street, but he doesn't think that will help.

He looks out the window to see if he can see the next street over moving, and that's when he sees it. The car is barreling toward the cab, full speed. The cold hard realization hits him. He's going to die. This is it. This is the end if his life.

He starts to see his life flash before his eyes, and to his surprise, it's not everything. He sees flashes of his childhood, his mom, his dad, his sister. He sees flashes of Marshall and Lily. He sees flashes of Stella. He sees flashes of Robin. He sees flashes of Barney. He sees flashes of their baby. The baby that should be his niece. He realizes that he doesn't even know what they named her, and he'll never know.

Then there's sounds of shattering glass and bending metal. The sound and the shock overtakes his body, and the blackness takes over his body.

* * *

 

"Hello?"

Marshall is finally playing Guitar Hero, sans pants as usual, when he gets the call. He had debated answering it, since he didn't know the number, but he decided to anyway, since it was close to the number that came up when Barney or Robin called him from the NICU.

"Hello, may I speak with Marshall Erikson? I have you listed as the emergency contact for Ted Mosby."

No. The world starts spinning. He hears the words Ted, accident, hospital, and it's all he needs to hear. He grabs his pants and starts running. He manages to get his pants on by the time he makes it to the street.

He calls Lily immediately. Her reaction is similar, and she runs out of her classroom in an instant.

Marshall debates calling Robin and Barney. This is one of those moments that he hates to be on both sides. He knows that they deserve to know, but he knows Ted wouldn't want them there.

So he does nothing but rush to his best friend's bedside.

He miraculously runs into Lily at the doors to the emergency room. She's the first to the desk, asking where they can find Ted. They wait through the agonizingly long process as the nurse looks it up. She points to a room across the hall, and they rush to his room, bursting through the door.

"Hey guys!" Ted blubbers with his mouth full once he sees them. "Jell-O?"

"I can't believe this. So you're totally fine?" Lily asks, still panicked.

"No, I'm not fine. I made the biggest mistake of my life!" Ted declares, almost begging with the universe to help him get things back on track. "You know how they say that your whole life flashes before your eyes in a near death experience? It doesn't. I was sitting in the cab watching the car barrel toward me, and I didn't see everything, only the things I love. I realized in that moment what the most important things in my life are and-and that included you guys, Stella, and…" He stops, catching himself before he finishes his thought. It's one thing to think that way about his estranged friends, but it's another thing to say it out loud to Marshall and Lily.

"And?" Marshall asks impatiently.

"And Barney and Robin," Ted admits.

"Ted..." Lily cautions, not wanting him to get too excited about them. He had been very clear that he wanted nothing to do with them anymore.

"I'm serious. Do you think they would let me back into their lives?" Ted asks hopefully.

"Of course they would Ted," Lily comforts. "They didn't mean to hurt you. Do you want me to call them?"

"Yeah," he answers.

She pulls out her phone immediately, deciding to call Robin first.

"Hey Robin, where are you?" Lily asks as soon as she hears Robin's voice.

"At the hospital, why?" Robin responds.

"Ted's been in an accident," Lily says, her voice a bit shaky, not knowing how she will react. "And he asked to see you."

"Oh god," Robin mutters. "Are you sure I should be there?"

"Yes."

"Okay I'm on my way up."

She hears the urgency in Robin's voice as she hangs up the phone and she's not worried. Robin still cares. Barney on the other hand, he might not be so quick to forgive. It took those bruises quite a while to heal, and every day Barney saw them, he cursed Ted.

"She's coming?" Ted asks hopefully.

"Yes."

She puts the phone back up to her ear, and hopes for the best.

"Go for Barney," he answers in his usual speedy way.

"Hey, Barney," Lily says breathily, concern filling her voice. "Listen, I have something to tell you."

"Oh ho, boy, here we go," Barney chortles, his older cocky attitude jokingly coming through. It's been a hard day, and no matter how much Lily has helped in the past few weeks, he needs to do something to cheer himself up right now. "I've been waiting for this one. You talked to Robin. She told you what's under the hood and you want to take it for a spin yourself," he teases.

"Not even if you boiled it in detergent," she replies, disgusted at the thought. "It's about Ted."

"Ted?" he laughs. That's pretty sly coming from Lily. "My former best friend Ted who I asked you never to mention to me again?" he scoffs.

"Yeah," she replies. "He's been in a car accident. He's at Saint Anthony's hospital. Everything's-" she stops when she hears Barney hang up the phone. It jars her just a bit, because she assumed that he would care more than that. So she continues for Ted's sake, even though she knows it sounds fake. "No, I understand. You've got that important thing. Okay. Oh, of course I'll tell him you love him. Okay. Suit up!" She finally takes her phone away from her ear before continuing. "He is always saying stuff like that!" she announces to the other two.

"He hung up, didn't he?" Ted guesses sadly, already knowing the answer. He thought that maybe this was his second chance. It turns out that maybe it wasn't after all.

"Yeah," Lily mutters. "But don't worry about it Ted. It will be okay."

* * *

"My best friend needs me," Barney utters in Chinese before running out of his meeting.

Ted's been in an accident. He couldn't regret everything that he had ever done wrong to him more than he did in this moment. Ted may die, and he would never get to apologize. His mind is rushing in a million directions as he runs as fast as his legs will carry him. He tries to get a cab, but every one he passes seems to be full or off duty. There is no question in his mind. If he needs to run all the way to the hospital, he will.

* * *

"Ted," Robin mutters as she walks in Ted's hospital room. As much as she hates to be away from McKenna, she is worried. She still loves Ted as a friend. Still, part of her is a bit worried that this is a trap, that he's trying to trick her into talking to her again, but she knows that Lily would never have anything to do with that. She would never put Robin in that position.

"Hey!" he exclaims. He's happy to see her. He hasn't seen her in a month, and it feels like such a long time. She looks just as beautiful as she used to, even if she's not his anymore.

"You're okay?" she asks. She's amazed at how good he looks, especially with the way Lily sounded on the phone.

"Yeah. Listen, Robin, I owe you an apology," he explains. "I'm sorry about my behavior for the last month. When my life flashed before my eyes in the accident, I realized that you both still mean a lot to me. I even saw the baby, and I realized that I've been so selfish that I don't even know what you named her."

"McKenna Kate," she offers.

"Gosh that's perfect," he mumbles. It's so very Barney and Robin. "Anyway, I never should have kicked you out of my life. I really do love you guys, and even though I will never fully forget how our marriage ended, I want to put it in the past."

"Ted-" she starts to cry, and approaches his bed. That's all she needed to hear. "Thank you."

"Hey, Mosby, you got a visitor," the nurse pops in the room to interrupt. And to Ted's surprise, he moves out of the way to reveal Stella.

"Hey," she mumbles, looking just as concerned as Robin did when she arrived. "Oh, uh…" she mumbles upon seeing Robin.

"Oh," Ted cringes, realizing that this is the first time they've met. "Robin this is Stella, Stella this is Robin."

"I'll give you two a minute," Robin says, excusing herself, making her way out of the room as fast as possible to avoid the awkward situation. The last thing that she wants to do is come between her ex-husband and his new girlfriend.

"Stella, before you say anything," he pauses, looking at her with pleading eyes. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she answers, tears threatening to escape her eyes. She's overjoyed that he's really okay.

"Can we just forget about-?" Ted pleads.

"It's forgotten," she replies, cutting him off, because she doesn't care about their fight anymore. "Is this your chart?" she asks, almost rhetorically, while walking to read it and dropping her purse on the foot of his bed. "Okay. Uh-huh. Everything looks good," she says with a sigh. "I think you can handle it."

"Handle what?"

His question is answered when she jumps on top of him on the bed.

* * *

"Hey, guys," Stella mutters, walking out of Ted's room and into the waiting room.

"Oh, I'm just so glad you and Ted are back together," Lily exclaims as she pulls Stella in for a hug while Marshall and Robin stay awkwardly in the background.

"Wait, um," Stella mumbles as she backs away from Lily. "What do you mean  _back together_?"

"Well, you know, since you guys broke up," Lily answers awkwardly.

"What?" Stella probes, confused as to why Lily could be saying such a thing. They had a small fight. They didn't break up. No way.

Lily looks like a child caught in a lie. She knows she just said something she shouldn't have, but she has no idea why.

"Oh, no," she brushes off, trying to clear up the confusion. "It was just a small fight. That wasn't a breakup." But she watches the responses of everyone in front of her and questions herself. "Was that a breakup? Did he think that was a breakup?" The reactions are not what she was hoping for. Oh my god, she thinks. He broke up with her. He thought they weren't together anymore. "Son of a bitch!" she mutters under her breath before storming back into Ted's room and knocking the Jell-O out of his hands. "That was a breakup, wasn't it? You broke up with me," she probes sadly.

"Yeah," he shrugs.

"I didn't know that that was a breakup," she stutters.

"Are you kidding? I- I said, I feel awful. You said, we're good. Then you got up and left," he argues. He has no idea how this wasn't clear.

"Yeah, I said, we're good, as in  _we're good_ ," she spits back. "Like when the waiter comes around and asks if you want any more muffins, and you say, we're good."

"Exactly, and I took that we're good to mean you didn't want any more metaphorical relationship muffins," he counters. "This is crazy. Forget about all that. That was a whole life-changing car accident ago," he begs. "I love you. I don't want to break up."

"But you did," she responds, annoyed that he thinks that he can just brush this all under the rug. "You did want to. And if you had those feelings once, then you're going to have those feelings again, and you're going to keep on having them," she rants, increasing her voice with every passing syllable. "And I can't count on that car to hit you every time you do."

"What are you saying?" He questions, looking at her with pleading eyes.

"I'm saying you wanted your breakup, you got it," she chokes out, turning and walking away from him and towards the door.

"What?! Stella, wait!" he yells after her.

"No, you know what, Ted? First this, then your ex-wife being in the room with you, that all I can take. We're good."

* * *

"So you broke up with her and she didn't know it?" Lily asks. She's really getting tired of all the drama in her life. If it isn't Ted, it's something with Barney and Robin.

"Apparently," he sighs.

"And you actually said, I want to break up?" Marshall questions.

"No, of course not," Ted responds, looking at Marshall like he has two heads. "Who says I want to break up? That's a horrible thing to say."

"Well, that's true," Robin agrees. She certainly didn't say it to him. Begrudgingly, Lily and Marshall nod in agreement. "Is that your phone?"

"I think so," Ted replies. "Can you get it for me?" Robin reaches into his coat to get it for him.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Ted Mosby? We have you listed as the emergency contact for Barney Stinson," the voice on the other end of the phone says urgently.

"Yes," he questions, wondering who could be on the other end of the line. As he listens, his face falls, and the group starts to panic.

"What is it?" Lily asks.

"Barney."

* * *

"Barney Stinson, please?" Ted frantically asks the nurse at the desk, fear rushing through him as he awaits the worst of news.

"The doctor would like to speak to you first. He'll be out in a minute," she responds, pointing them to a few chairs where they can wait for a few minutes. And it really does feel like an eternity.

"Ted Mosby?" a man in a white coat announces a few minutes later, and Marshall, Lily and Ted leap to their feet waiting to hear anything about him.

Robin, however, is frozen on the chair. She can't possibly move. The man she loves is in some sort of unknown, but hurt, condition. She loves him. He can't leave her. He can't leave his daughter. She can't possibly be a single parent. Not for this reason. Not at all.

"Yes?" Ted replies.

"Your friend is incredibly lucky," the doctor reports. "He has three broken limbs, but there are no signs of internal bleeding or serious concussion. He should make a complete recovery, but I wanted to warn you that he looks worse than he is." They all breathe a collective sigh of relief, and Robin finally finds the strength to join them.

"What happened?" Marshall asks, wanting to know, because all they knew so far was that he was brought to the hospital.

"He was hit by a bus right outside of the emergency room. The paramedics said he kept saying something about seeing a Ted." Ted lets his face fall into his hands as the doctor walks away.

"Oh my god. He was coming to see me," he mumbles, starting to cry. It was all his fault. Barney did care, and if he had never been in the accident, Barney wouldn't be hurt.

"Of course he was," Lily says, trying to calm him down.

"He still cares," Robin adds. "We thought you were the one that didn't."

"How stupid could I have been?" Ted berates himself.

"Ted, let it go. Let's just see him."

* * *

"How's McKenna?" is the first thing out of Barney's mouth when they enter his room. He's concerned about her over everyone else, and even though he looks so horrible Robin wants to look away, she can't help but smile about how much he loves their daughter.

"She's just fine," Robin answers.

"Are you okay?" Ted asks. They all can't help but cringe at all of the plaster covering his body. He looks so broken, so beaten down, so frail. It's not at all like the Barney they are all used to.

"I'm awesome!" he snarls. They all cringe at Barney trying to keep up his shield, especially Robin. She wishes that he would show them the person that she knows. The person that would do anything for anyone. The person that can hurt.

"Barney…" Ted scolds.

"Ted? You're okay?" Barney is so relieved when he sees Ted. All he wanted was for Ted to be okay. He didn't want anything bad happening to Ted. He never did.

"Yes, I'm fine, but I'm worried about you," Ted answers.

"I'm fine. Couldn't be better," Barney brushes off. He's awesome. He'll be just fine. He's got his girls near him, and Ted is back again and worried about him. A little pain never hurt anyone.

"Come on Barney," Ted says, trying to get him to admit that he hurts, that he's human.

"Can we be friends again?" Barney asks hopefully.

"Barney, you, uh you could have died," Ted barley chokes out, tears threatening to spill out again.

"Ted, I'm sorry I broke the bro code," Barney mutters apologetically.

"No, I'm-I'm sorry."

"Ted, can we be friends again?" Barney asks meekly, pleading in a way that Ted had never heard before.

"Barney, come on, we're more than friends," Ted sobs. "We're brothers." A smile breaks on Barney's face, and he laughs excitedly.

"You're my brother, Ted."

"You're my brother, Barney," Ted mumbles, the tears now spilling over his face as he bends down to hug his best friend.

"Did you hear that, Marshall?" Barney says, looking up at Marshall gleefully. "We're brothers now"

"Marshall's my brother, too," Ted says, weeping, as he motions for Marshall to join in the hug.

"We're all brothers," Marshall exclaims, joining in.

"Yeah, but I'm your best brother, right?" Barney adds, being Barney.

After they finally compose themselves from the crying, as Lily and Robin look on awkwardly, but happily at the sappy display of male binding, Ted asks for a moment alone.

"Sure," they all agree, but he can tell that Robin is uncomfortable leaving Barney's side.

"I'm really sorry Barney," Ted begins after they have the room to themselves. "I shouldn't have taken all my anger out on you. It was stupid."

"I deserved it," Barney admits quietly.

"No, you didn't. You're a dad. I never should have been punching you."

"Ted, let it go. It's in the past now."

"I just have one more thing to say." He waits until Barney is looking at him directly. "Don't hurt her."

"I won't, not intentionally," Barney promises.

"I can be okay with you being in a relationship if you promise to let the bimbos go."

"You don't get it Ted," he cries out in frustration, almost in a way that is more than his broken body can handle. "I already did. Do you know how many girls I've been with in the past year?"

"I don't know, maybe thirty?"

"Four. One of them being Robin. The other three were after she left. I would never cheat on her. Her and McKenna are my life now."

Ted is stunned. There is so much he missed, so much he thought he knew, that he really didn't.

"Okay," he smiles at Barney, finally happy with himself. "I've got to go. I have to make this up to Stella."

"Go Ted."

* * *

"Hi," Ted says strongly, finally finding Stella and ready to do what he needs to do.

"Hi," she says quietly, surprised by his presence.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Okay," she agrees, and he can tell by the look on her face that she's unsure if it's a good idea.

They walk together to a two person racing game that is somewhat secluded, but still within eyesight of Lucy.

"I got you this orange kangaroo," Ted announces, pulling the small toy from where he had been hiding it, and offering it to her. She takes it, even more confused than before.

"Uh, thanks," she replies, raising her eyebrows and looking for a sign that there is more to it than a small toy.

"So I've been thinking about what changed from the moment I broke up with you to the moment I knew I wanted you back. And, um," he confesses, praying with all his heart that he didn't mess this up. "I think I finally figured out what happened,"

"Your cab got T-boned by a jackass on a cell phone?" She replies sarcastically.

"No. I changed," he says, looking at her seriously, hoping that she can see how much this is coming from his heart. "I'm ready to give you what you need. That's why I spent ten minutes on the damn claw machine trying to get the big, fake diamond ring." She laughs, because he would have a problem getting what he wanted out of the claw machine. But as he continues, the words diamond ring start to take shape in her brain. "But all I could get was this orange kangaroo."

"Diamond ring?"

"Will you marry me?"


	11. Chapter 10-A Wedding and A Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really really sorry that I have not updated this story in so long. I realized about a week ago that today is six months since my last update, so I had to finish this tonight. It's a bit shorter than some previous chapters, but I fit all the content in it that it needed. Hope you enjoy, and I hope to finally get back to writing more!

"Barney, we need to go," Robin announces.

"Come on, five more minutes," he whines, still holding McKenna on a recliner in the corner of the NICU. Life had gone somewhat back to normal in the past two months. Barney slowly recovered, although he still had a way to go to be completely back to normal and the gang started to hang out like normal again, with the addition of Stella.

"I don't want to leave her either, but if we don't go, we are going to be late," Robin reminds him again.

"Why do you want to go to this thing anyway?" he asks.

"It's not just a thing, it's Ted's wedding."

"Exactly," he stresses. Even though he is Ted's friend, and he thinks he should be there, he thinks it's weird for Robin to be there. "It's your ex-husband's wedding. Do you really think it's a good idea to go?"

"Barney, we promised him that we were going to stay friends," she explains. "Friends go to each other's weddings, no matter what they think of the bride or the groom or any former relationships. Besides, he made me promise last night that we are going to come."

"I still don't think it's a good idea. I mean, I'm barely walking. That's so not awesome."

"Fine," she sighs. "Let's look at it this way. We can finally celebrate your return to mobility. You, me, and a resort all weekend," she winks seductively. "We can finally have some scotch and have a little bit of fun for old time's sake, before we have to bring her home."

"Well, when you put it that way..." he says suggestively. He grabs her arms and pulls her down for a kiss. They break away, and he glances down at the baby. "You're sure she's going to be fine?" he questions, holding her out for Robin to take.

"Yes," she answers confidently, cradling the baby and walking her the short distance to her crib. "She wouldn't have made it this far if she isn't. Let's go enjoy ourselves."

* * *

"Robin! Barney!" Lily shouts as she spots them across the tropical themed lobby. She jumps up from her spot at one of the lobby tables, and rushes over to greet them. Marshall is not far behind her. "Look at you walking!"

"Yes, Lily, I'm almost back to my awesome self," Barney brags, with a hint of self-consciousness in his voice. Of all of his months of therapy and recovery, he never did the hard stuff in front of his friends. He didn't want anyone, including Robin, to see him vulnerable. He conceded with Robin, after a lot of convincing, and he's glad he did. He wouldn't even be walking right now if it wasn't for her help and encouragement.

"Ted's going to be really glad you guys made it," Marshall adds.

"I'm sure," Robin answers. "Where is he?"

"He had to go back to the city to convince Tony to let Lucy come to the wedding. Stella was freaking out because she wasn't going to be here," Lily explains.

"Ahhhh," Robin mumbles, and Barney looks at her quizzically. Her tone seems almost sarcastic, leading him to question again, whether this really was a good idea.

"I still can't believe that Ted wants to slip into someone else's life like this," Lily begins to ramble, not even seeing the looks on her friends' faces. "I mean, I always saw him as a father, but still. It won't be his kid. And he's rushing it too. He's been divorced from you for how long? It's not even a year."

"Yeah," Robin mumbles in agreement as Barney watches her intently.

"Sorry," Lily apologizes. "I shouldn't be talking about this. We'll let you guys get settled in, see you later?"

"Yep," Barney agrees quickly, wanting to get Robin out of the situation as quickly as possible. He can sense that she is upset, and he wants to do everything in his power to stop it. He places his hand on the small of her back, and gently pushes her in the direction of the check in desk.

He shares their reservation information with the girl behind the counter, as Robin stares off into space.

"You seem quiet?" he asks, as the girl briefly walks away to retrieve their keys.

"Yeah. Just thinking," she brushes off.

"We can turn around and go home you know. If you are uncomfortable that is."

"No," she insists. "I'm just thinking about what Lily said."

"It's Ted's decision to make."

"I know. I just feel weird about it."

"Me too."

"You are all checked in," the girl says as she reappears behind the desk, "Welcome to The Namaste Yoga and Meditation Collective. All the meals are included, and we have a wonderful onsite spa. Can I interest either you in a massage?"

"No, thanks," Barney replies. "Just point us in the direction of the bar."

"There is no bar, we are an alcohol free, vegan relaxation resort."

They both gasp in horror. They agreed on the ride out that scotch was going to be the only thing to get them through this weekend, and now, well, it could change their entire plan.

They retreat quickly to their room, with Robin throwing their bags on the floor as Barney flops down on the bed.

"Well, this weekend just got a lot more dull," she groans, lying down next to him on the bed.

"At least we can have sex," Barney jokes, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yeah," she says with a giggle, before turning more somber. "I guess you have that."

"What?"

"I don't know," she starts. "We get enough time alone. I'd rather be at the hospital with McKenna. Or spending time getting the apartment ready to bring her home."

"We've talked about this. You want to go home?" Barney asks again. He almost wishes they could just leave, but he knows how stubborn Robin is. If she wants to stay, they will be staying for sure.

"No," she answers, shaking her head. "Maybe just sneak in some alcohol from somewhere?" He suddenly gets a bright smile over her face, and pushes himself up off the bed, towards their bags.

"Guess it's a good thing I snuck in a bottle of scotch then," he says, as he pulls out a large bottle of scotch.

"Oooo. Let the fun begin!"

* * *

Ted breathes a sigh of relief as he parks the car. It's finally his wedding day. Again. He never thought that he would be getting married a second time, but he feels lucky somehow. He's getting the family he's always wanted, even if it includes having Tony in his life. He can make it work, and he should. It's really what's best for the young girl that will officially be his step-daughter in a few hours.

They climb out of the car, Lucy jumping around excitedly, as she waits for the men behind her. They finally give her permission to run ahead, and she spots Stella.

"Mommy! Mommy! Ted invited daddy!"

"Hi, sweetie. I missed you," she says, pulling her daughter into a hug and seeing the men fully enter the lobby. "Give me just a sec, okay?"

"Hey," Tony says, stepping out from behind Ted.

"Hey, Tony," she replies curtly. "Can you watch Lucy for a minute?"

"Sure."

"Ted, can I talk to you for a minute?" she demands, looking at him angrily. "In our room?"

"Yeah." He senses right away that he is in trouble.

* * *

"You invited Tony? To our wedding?!" she screams as soon as the door is shut. "He's my ex! Why would you do this?"

"I figured it was fine," he says with a shrug. "It's not like Robin isn't here."

"Wait-" she snaps, staring daggers. "You invited Robin?"

"Yeah, of course," he answers calmly, trying to show her that this isn't a big deal.

"You never told me that. I'm not sure how I feel about that," she pauses, but starts to speak before Ted has the chance to open his mouth. "No. I know how I feel about that. It's weird."

"It's not weird," he tries to argue.

"It's weird. You don't get what it's like for a bride to see her groom's ex at their wedding. Having exes around," she pauses, trying to collect her thoughts. "I don't know, it brings up unresolved things,  _especially_  this one," she emphasizes. "How do you know that spark won't come back with your ex sitting out there?"

"Come on, we're just friends," he whines.

"It's like things are not finished between you two," she accuses. "And Tony," she sighs, "I can't deal with Tony right now. Can you please go out there and tell him to leave? You can make me the bad guy. I'll go talk to Robin, so she knows it's nothing personal."

"Okay," he agrees, and turns to walk towards the door of the room, but he stops himself and turns to face her. "No. I should go talk to Robin. She's my friend, and she left the baby to come here. You go talk to Tony."

"Okay," she agrees, and he walks out the door.

* * *

"Hey, Robin?" He calls, happening to find her at the front desk asking for some glasses for their room.

"Yeah?" she turns around at his voice, happy to finally see him today, hoping that maybe he will calm her nerves that coming here was in fact the right decision.

"You can't come to the wedding," he blurts out. He didn't mean for it to happen that fast, but it did.

"Oh, thank God!" she sighs, a smile forming across her face. She didn't realize how much she didn't want to be here, until now.

"What?" he questions, confused.

"Ted, it's weird."

"It's not weird."

"It's weird. Do you know how it feels to be somebody's ex at their wedding?" she asks as she drags him into a more secluded corner.

"We broke up a year ago," he counters.

"Ted, it's not even a year, and especially considering what's happened since, that's not that long ago at all. Watching you marry another woman isn't exactly something I was looking forward to."

"And why is this bothering you? There's nothing between us anymore," he counters.

"Of course there is. That kind of stuff doesn't just disappear without a trace. There is always going to be a part of me that loves you. Look, I'm not just another guest here, Ted."

"Right. We were married, but we both moved on."

"No, we haven't," she says, before adding, "well, you haven't." She pauses to gather her thoughts. "Look, Ted, I think you should go back to your real life."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks, almost offended by the insinuation.

"Don't get married," she answers. "Look, you're rushing into this. It's like you're trying to skip ahead to the end of the book, just because things failed with us." She sighs, collecting her strength to say the rest of what is on her mind. "Ted, you're the most romantic guy I know. You stole a blue French horn for me. You tried to make it rain."

"I did make it rain."

"It was a coincidence. But after all that, this is how your great romantic quest comes to an end? You're just disappearing into someone else's wedding, someone else's house, someone else's life without a second thought. That's not the amazing ending that you deserve. That's not Ted Mosby."

"I love Stella," he answers coldly. "She's the one. If you really feel that way, I guess it's a good thing you're not coming to the wedding after all." He turns and storms off, letting her standing alone.

It's a damn good thing Barney brought that scotch. Once she gets a hold of it, he's going to have no idea what hit him.

* * *

"Hey," a shirtless and out of breath Barney says while opening the door.

"Hi. You have a minute?" Lily asks, before taking stock of the situation, first peering over an almost naked and very obviously aroused Barney, then noticing a very naked Robin tied to the bed. "Oh," she mutters. "Oh my god... Um... Yeah... Okay... I uh... I'm sorry I interrupted but… uh… we really need you."

"Uh sure? Why?" he asks, noticing something is wrong by Lily's body language.

"Stella's gone," she whispers.

"Gone?" he clarifies, closing the door slightly to hide Robin.

"Gone. As in she left. We need to go to Ted."

"Of course Lil. We'll be right there."

He lets the door fall shut, and rushes as best he can back over to the bed, immediately beginning to work on untying knots.

"Did she say Stella's-"

"Yeah."

"Crap," she mutters, bringing her recently freed hand up to her face to massage her temples. "I did this didn't I?"

"No, you didn't. Don't jump to that conclusion," he reassures her as he unties the last hold.

"No. I showed up," she disputes, while propelling herself up and quickly dragging on her underwear. "She didn't want me here. They fought. She left. Ted is never going to forgive me."

"Robin. I think if he can forgive you for this," he says motioning between them as best he can while pulling on his pants, "he can forgive you for anything."

"I don't know," she sighs, throwing the green dress over her head. "I wouldn't be for sure. What if this is the last straw, and we lose everyone?"

"We aren't going to lose everyone."

"But it could happen. It could."

"Robin, stop," Barney demands. She's panicking, and he hates when she panics. "We haven't lost them yet, and what we've done is much worse. Somehow, against all better judgment, they are all still our friends. They aren't going to leave us alone just because we showed up to a wedding we were invited to. Trust me. It will be fine. Besides, weren't you the one that just talked to him and told him not to do this?"

"Yeah," she mutters as she slips on her shoes and grabs the key. He finishes tying his tie, and pulls her into a hug.

"It will be just fine," he whispers into her ear, before guiding her out the door.

* * *

"Hi," she mumbles as she sits next to a very sullen looking Ted on the bed. "I'm really sorry, Ted."

"Me too," Barney agrees.

"Thanks," he mutters. "Thanks."

"What happened?" Barney asks.

The card is shoved in Robin's hands, and they both read it, Barney looking over her shoulder. She feels guilty almost breathing a sigh of relief, but she does. It's not her fault. It's not her fault at all. She was right. But it's not the time for 'I told you so's.' She has to make sure Ted is okay.

* * *

_Two days later_

"That was from Lily. Apparently Ted is still taking this really well," Robin shares, shutting off her phone and putting it in the empty car seat next to her on the back seat of the cab.

"I don't buy that," Barney scoffs.

"Apparently he said something about being glad that we were all there to get him through it, and she had to remind him that it had only been 24 hours."

"That means one of two things," he announces as he counts with his fingers. "He either dodged a bullet,"

"Likely," she agrees.

"Or Lily is lying and he's going to snap."

"He could just be happy," she says.

"Yes," he says as he points to her, "but the thing you haven't realized, Scherbatsky, is that he's been here before. Just this past fall to be exact. Ted Mosby is not the kind of man to let a woman go."

"You do have a point there," she agrees. She may not have witnessed it first hand, but she's heard the stories. "I do hope it's the first one, though."

"I agree. It would make life much easier on all of us. Especially since in one hour, our days at the bar will be numbered."

"Yeah," she mutters as the cab pulls up to the front of the hospital.

"You ready?" he asks.

"Yeah," she replies sweetly. "Let's go bring her home."

* * *

"Alright mom and dad, paperwork is done, and you are checked out. She's officially yours," the nurse says, handing McKenna to Robin.

"I didn't think this day would really come," Barney says happily, as he watches Robin put the baby in the car seat.

"Cherish it," the nurse tells them. "We'll miss you around here."

"Same," Robin agrees, smiling.

"And keep in touch. We want to know how she's doing."

"Absolutely."

"Bye, McKenna." A chorus of nurses and doctors coo as they walk out of the door of the NICU for the last time.

* * *

It takes him three tries to slide the key in the lock. This is it. From now on, their lives really change. Hopefully for the better. He finally gets it, opens the door, and lets Robin in first.

"Welcome home, McKenna," he says.

He closes the door behind him, and Robin puts the car seat down.

"Hey Barney?" Robin asks.

"Yeah?"

"What do we do now?"


End file.
